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Project X Newsletter Expanded, issue #84

May 16, 2003

1. Opening Words - New Domain! - Alexander Aldarow
2. The Problem & The Solution Lie Within YOU - Asoka Selvarajah
3. Home The Wanderer - Star Princess
4. It's not Bush, it's not Saddam..... IT'S MARS!! - Mark Andrews
5. We the Bearers of Light - Alishaya
6. World Brotherhood Union - Vedia Bülent Çorak
7. A Special Angel - Mark Andrews

Opening Words - New Domain!    (view on a separate page)
Author: Alexander Aldarow    (all articles by this author)

Good afternoon, my dearest friends!

As promised two weeks, I have a huge announcement for all the visitors and readers of Project X website - we have moved to a new, independent domain,!!! As the site's webmaster, I see this as a big leap from ads-clogged free services to an on-line freedom and unlimited options, which I only began to scratch. In the months to come, more features will be added to our site, and its outer design might be changed as well. Several new departments have appeared at, such as Experiences, Articles and Arts, where over 400 articles, categorized by themes and authors, are featured! An inner search engine was added; the Postcards gallery, under Arts, was fixed, and now you can send a virtual postcard with an original painting to your beloved ones. As always, you are welcomed to leave your opinion about the site in our guestbook and participate in discussions on the Free Spirits Board.

I am always open to new ideas regarding the site and possible cooperation with other webmasters. By the way, if you have a link pointing to Project X, please update it to the new URL. If you have a homepage and wish to exchange links, or if you'd like to contribute an article for the newsletter, e-mail me.

And now that I've shared my joy with you, let us continue with today's newsletter.

The Problem & The Solution Lie Within YOU    (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
Author: Asoka Selvarajah    (all articles by this author)

Whatever your lot in life, you doubtless consider it to be a combination of external factors: some positive and others negative. Doubtless, this is partly true. However, it may surprise you to know that at any point, barring acts of God, your future is almost entirely in your own hands.

This may sound like too much to bear or believe. After all, if it were true, there would be no excuses left. You could not blame your situation on your parents, the government, your boss, your husband or wife, your race, or anything else. Hence, most of us prefer to reject this thought. That leaves us with plenty of excuses, and a comfortable, if rather mediocre, life.

Napoleon Hill's book "Think & Grow Rich" makes it clear that Success only comes to those rare few who (a) create a major definite purpose they burn to achieve in their lives, and (b) pursue that purpose with total determination and persistence, to the point of apparent folly in the eyes of others. Interestingly, the qualification is NOT that you need any prior experience or talent in that which you seek. Rather, it is the purpose, backed with the determination to never give up in attaining it, combined with tapping into the Infinite Intelligence of the universe, that brings about lasting Success.

However, most of us think differently. You may think that you cannot succeed because you do not have enough experience, or because you have little money, or because you are disadvantaged in some other way. If so, you need to consider the examples of people like Henry Ford and Thomas Edison. Both of these men had nothing more than basic schooling. Van Gogh learned to paint relatively late in life. Stevie Wonder is blind. The world's leading cosmologist, Stephen Hawking, is in a wheelchair and cannot even speak without a voice machine. Oprah Winfrey was born black, dirt-poor, and was abused as a child. Excellent qualifications for becoming the highest-paid TV personality in America?...

The basic problem that holds the vast majority from achieving astonishing success is that they lack self-esteem at the very deepest subconscious level. We place a ceiling on what we are capable of achieving, because it makes us feel better about ourselves and our own mediocre achievements. It's better to shield ourselves with dozens of excuses than to admit to ourselves that we could have done better, if only we had the guts and the self-belief.

We spend our entire lives crawling around on our knees beneath this insanely low ceiling we created for ourselves. An absurd image? That's the way you are probably living your life.

Within certain obvious physical limits (e.g. a 70-year old trying to win the Olympic 100m), there is almost NOTHING that someone else has achieved that you could not achieve too, if you had a burning desire to do it, made this the major definite purpose of your life, and pursued it with relentless determination. Burn the ships and the bridges and then head forward. No excuses or fallbacks. You succeed or you die. That is the only attitude for achieving the very highest levels of attainment. The artist, Michelangelo, said he would not be considered a genius if people only knew how many hours he sweated to achieve it.

The Comfort Zone is the greatest barrier to Success. If you achieve a certain level of the latter, the temptation to relax and bask in the weak sunlight of what you've attained can be overwhelming. A high level of dissatisfaction serves as excellent motivation to spur you further. That way, you will take risks, which is the only way to move forward rapidly. If you take NO risks in life, you may as well be already dead. In fact, the most common regret of dying people is the things they did NOT do, and the risks they did NOT take.

Attaining success in any undertaking SHOULD make you feel uncomfortable and challenged. Things are only totally comfortable when you are not making any progress. That is why it is called the Comfort Zone. However, it's that way because nothing is happening. Maybe a coffin is comfortable too?

However, to succeed in your chosen major definite purpose, you need to shed the garbage of your upbringing. Examine your beliefs and values carefully. Where did they come from? Did you think them up or inherit them? Are there any contradictions there that hold you back? For instance, if you want to become rich, but have a deep-seated belief that rich people are crooks, how likely are you to succeed? Isn't it like driving with the handbrake on?

Most of the time, this is exactly what you are doing. Another example. You want to be promoted and given more responsibility at work? However, when you look within, you don't feel worthy of it, or even believe that your colleagues are better than you.

Some deep self-examination is necessary. Take time with yourself and ask yourself what your limiting beliefs are. Working on deepening your sense of self-esteem is the most important work you can do. It precedes any external success you may wish for.

Once you have deep self-esteem, you won't "care what the morons think", as multimillionaire businessman, Dan Pena, so graphically puts it. If you are afraid of failure, it's almost certainly because failure is frowned upon in our society. After all, how will you look to friends and family? "I told you so" will be the inevitable response. Right?

So what? Why care? Don't bother what the morons think. When Tom Watson, founder of IBM, was asked by a hungry young executive how he might progress much faster within the company, Watson answered, "Double your failure rate."

THAT should teach you how important the opinions of the morons really are. This is something they don't and can't understand. That is why they remain exactly where they are. INCREASE your rate of making mistakes in order to accelerate your successes, and make them ever more dramatic. It's the only way. However, you can only do that if you feel good inside about yourself, and don't care what others think.

In conclusion, external factors have less to do with where you are at than you may ever have imagined. The main factor for dramatic success or failure lies within. So, next time you stand in front of a mirror, ponder the eyes looking back into yours. The answers to every success in your life, now and in the future, lie right there... staring back at you.

Copyright 2003. Asoka Selvarajah. All Rights Reserved.
Dr. Asoka Selvarajah is the author of "The 7 Golden Secrets To Knowing Your Higher Self" course. Asoka's work helps people achieve their full potential, deepen their understanding of mystical truth, and find joy in their true soul's purpose. He offers you a FREE 14-Day LifeBreakthrough e-mail course at:

Home The Wanderer    (view on a separate page) (more articles about literature)
Author: Star Princess    (all articles by this author)

In the shining corridors of Light
I walk alone at first it seems
Earth and sky recede to blend into
Gorgeous hue - purple, gold and blue.

Words stagger, gasp and fall
Releasing eternal vibrations clear,
Language blends, becomes LOVE and
Walks in Beauty alone.

Myriads of souls merge, entwine,
Blend  into rhythmic cadence;
Eternal music wafts e'er in my soul,
Singing, flowing awareness.

Times, ages, worlds - all condense,
I Am of ever Being reigns
Long in time may it have been,
That maternal womb of the Divine.

Time now gasps a last repleted
Breath, New Life now breathes;
Ego's little pains seared o'er
Passion in her pain.

Floods into the whirling vortex
Of Eternal Flame molded
Anew, yet ever old;
I AM and always so.

Time, pain, soul's bare
Estrangement, all pass;
One bright Light, flame
Of Eternal Existence shines.

Creator. created - all One
Separateness now lost,
In Allness the soul
Rests in its Eternal Home.


It's not Bush, it's not Saddam..... IT'S MARS!!    (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
Author: Mark Andrews    (all articles by this author)

March 23, 2003

Why does it seem that war is suddenly inevitable? What might be different now than a year ago?

     In August of this year, 2003, the planet Mars (the astrological harbinger of war) will be the closest that it has been to earth in nearly 75,000 years. As it has been drawing nearer to earth, humanity has been reacting to the lower (Base Chakra) impulses that the Martian energies trigger in the human physiology.
     Where we might have before sought diplomatic means for conflict resolution, we now - under the expounded influence of Mars - are more quick to react to a situation with the primal, animalistic impulses that drove our prehistoric ancestors.
     We will also be more apt to react with anger, and to feel "attacked" in our interpersonal dealings. We might also expect to be subject to paranoias as this unseen "enemy" (Mars) tugs at us; leaving us to find an earthly scapegoat to blame for our inexplicable emotional imbalances. Having the awareness of this fact makes it easier for you to regain control of your impulses and energies.

Countering the gravitational influences of Mars.
Resetting your personal balance.

     At the base of your spine is the Base Chakra, it is the first in a series of energy centers that rise from your spinal base (the tail bone) to distribute the Universal Life Force - Prana - throughout your anatomy, and out through you to all of creation. Chakras are swirling (cone like) vortices that connect your various forms; your physical, creational, etheric, emotional, mental, psychic, and spiritual bodies to each other to maintain your balanced existence in the 3 dimensional world.

A brief listing of the 7 primary chakras is as follows:

1. The Base Chakra.
At the spinal base.
Emits and reacts to the color RED.
Supplies primal, self preservational energies. Also channels rejuvenating energies throughout the full system.
Influenced by EARTH and MARS

2. The Creational (Sexual) Chakra.
Located mid-way between the naval and the genitals.
Emits and reacts to the color ORANGE.
Supplies creational and recreational energies.
Influenced by PLUTO and MARS

3. The Solar Plexus Chakra.
Located in the solar plexus region.
Emits and reacts to YELLOW and GOLD.
This is the seat of the personal identity; the ego.
Influenced by the SUN

4. The Heart Chakra
Located at the center of the chest.
Emits and reacts to the colors GREEN and PINK.
This is the healing center of the full system.
The Heart Chakra is also the seat of the emotional body (the soul).
Influenced by the MOON and VENUS

5. The Throat Chakra
Located at the base of the throat.
Emits and reacts to the color BLUE.
This is the seat of rational thinking (left brain connection) and communicative, expressive energies.
Influenced by MERCURY

6. The Brow Chakra (The 3rd Eye)
Positioned at the center of the brow / forehead; roughly at a triangular point above the eyes.
Emits and reacts to the color INDIGO.
This is the psychic receptivity and transmission center.
Influenced by URANUS

7 The Crown Chakra
At the top "crown" of the head.
Emits and reacts to VIOLET and WHITE light energies.
This chakra is also known as the "God connection", because it is from this center that you are truly at one with the "I AM" Spirit of the Universe.
Influenced by NEPTUNE

     Each of the chakras emanate energies in a balanced harmony with all of the others, but as well, each has a particular "balancing" chakra that is designed to keep it in balanced alignment with itself and with the whole system.
     In the case of the Base Chakra (Martian primal energies) the balancing chakra energy center is the CROWN CHAKRA.
     As the chakra energies rise up from the earth and into the full human anatomy, they travel primarily along the length of the spinal column. In its optimum movement, the base (primal RED) energies seek to move upward in a coiling - snake like - ascent to pass out of the body through the top of the Crown chakra.
     If there is exceptional magnetic or gravitational pull on the Base chakra, the energies that might otherwise spiral freely up and through the Crown can be constricted; causing reactions in the individual such as explosive anger, hyper tension, and overt aggressiveness. (As is presently being evidenced in the thinking and actions of both world leaders as well as  common individuals.)
     The goal in achieving a Base to Crown energy flow balance is to create a system wide balance through the activity of the HEART Chakra. This can be done through the focus of willful forgiveness toward others, and the purposed "warm" feelings that come with love and affection.
     The more the Heart Chakra is allowed to flow freely, the more the full balance (healing) of the human anatomy is made manifest.
     We often use the expression "from the heart" to denote something that is true or genuine. - "The real thing". - As we send love to another, the Heart chakra is automatically energized, and emits healing, balancing energies to the object of our affection.
     This process of loving "from the heart" can be applied on both personal and planetary scales. As the planet Mars draws ever closer to earth, you can keep yourself and those who you love in a better state of balance and health through the simple - but irresistibly effective - flow of Universal, unconditional love: beaming out through your Hearth chakra.
     And you will also find that you are all the more healthy, happy, and connected to yourself, those who you love, and to The Universe itself.

We the Bearers of Light    (view on a separate page) (more articles about literature)
Author: Alishaya    (all articles by this author)

We bear Light for the world to see
We walk the trail and in truth we live
It is not an easy way
The way is sprinkled with  memories
To discard the layers we have grown
Takes an incredible amount of strength and love
Each day we look at things past
And yank them from our hearts and thoughts
To forge the way for our fellow man
Is not an easy path to go
We look at mist
Illusion and misbegotten energies
And dig often into pain and blood
The tentacles of illusions reach deep within our cores
Do you think it is easy to Walk in truth, in light, in love?
Than you might ask, why walk at all?
So you my brothers all
May live in Light, in Peace and Love
For if we don't walk the path
We might not be able to walk at all
The way is often steep
The pebbles might be boulders
that you can't even see
but know my hand is there for thee
As I trust that yours is there for me.
Know the higher we go
The purer the air
The easier the path
More Love to share
More Peace to be
More sunshine
More Laughter
More Joy
More me
And you
And WE!
As One we shall be
For all the stars to see
In awe they are
To know that we
Have risen much
Never before
Has it been done
Never before has the Light of Love
Been planted
In each dimension
In each space of time
If it weren't for you and me

Live to serve and serve to live,
Love Beams,
Walk in Light, She/He will always guide,
Walk in Light and there will be Peace,
Soul Name: Alishaya
Native American Name: Knukquni (Sheep Girl)
Reverend Edith Bello Church of the Creator (COTC)
I remain in a state of Divine Right Order ®
Dwell for a moment in a single blade of grass.
Discover the secret of snowflakes.
In these patterns lie harmony, my child.
In harmony, the universe.
~Nancy Wood

World Brotherhood Union    (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
Author: Vedia Bülent Çorak    (all articles by this author)

Information about the characteristics of the age we live in and our establishment

Dear friends,

The Age we are living in at the moment is an Age with many great characteristics, compared with the past Ages. And this characteristic has been revealed to our Planet gradually since the year 1900. In this last age, our aged World, together with all the creation it sustains on it has entered an accelerated evolution zone.

While the cosmic currents showering our planet develop the conscious human being in a positive way, unfortunately they affect negatively some consciousnesses that have not yet been able to complete their evolution properly. For this reason at the moment, while our world is exhibiting a tableau where good and evil live together, it is also experiencing its Last Judgment.

In no other period, our World has ever longed for Peace and Friendship as much as it has in this last age. The human being, who has attained consciousness, as the master of his World, in his efforts to save and protect it, is henceforth calling all humanity to Peace - Friendship - Unification. And at this moment, many positive and spiritual focal points sharing the same view have been established in our planet for this reason.

Henceforth, the only word used very often by everyone serving on the path of humanity is Peace - Love - Friendship - Brotherhood. We, too made official our Universal work which we have been taking into effect since the year 1966 in Anatolian Turkey as “the World Brotherhood Union Universal Unification Center Association and the World Brotherhood Union Mevlana Supreme Foundation” in the year 1993. We are an establishment serving humanity through THE KNOWLEDGE BOOK setting out from the philosophy of Mevlana without making any discrimination regarding Race-Religion-Language-Gender and we are one of the mosaics, which will complete the perfect World Paneau of the Morrows.

The aim of our Foundation and Association is to invite Humanity under the Roof of a Brotherly World by introducing the Spirit of Unification and Consciousness of Brotherhood at home and abroad and to prepare Human beings for the Reality of Unified Humanity by setting out from the principle of Atatürk, "Peace in the Homeland, Peace in the Universe" and to provide the evolution of Humanity towards a Universal Consciousness.

Our center is the city of Istanbul in Anatolian Turkey. Our Association has branches in the cities of Ýzmir, Ankara, Antalya, Bursa, Tekirdað, Adana, Mersin, Çorlu, Edirne. Apart from this, we are carrying on with our activities in district centers of Istanbul such as Bakýrköy, Beþiktaþ, Üsküdar, Fatih, Kartal, Sarýyer, Maltepe, Þiþli, Ümraniye, Beyoðlu and Beykoz.

At present, we are serving Humanity with quite a large potential, connected to this program. At our Central focal point only (apart from the branches in other cities and districts) we have 1650 members. In addition, we have many focal points serving in the medium of the Knowledge Book in the entire World. Some of these are in Germany, Israel, and USA. Apart from this, we are in a continual dialogue with many friends who are in contact with us and who are serving on the path of the Knowledge Book in many cities of Europe, Australia and America.

Our Book has been fully translated into English, German, French, Hebrew, Russian, Serbian and Albanian. The complete set of fascicules has been taken into distribution, in these languages. In the year 1996, it has been published in book format in English and Turkish and at present second editions of these are also in effect. And in 2002, publication of the Russian version of our Book was taken into effect and German version is got ready for publication. This year, we are planing the publication of Hebrew and French versions of the Knowledge Book.

The Knowledge Book is at present being translated into Swedish by a Swedish friend living in Canarian Islands, into Japanese by a Japanese friend, into Polish by a Polish friend, into Norvegian by a Norvegian friend, into Spanish by an American friend and into Persian by a Iranian friend living in the USA.

Subject matter of our Work is the Knowledge Book seminars and the declaration of the Universal Facts. At our branch centers, seminar studies are held regularly every week.

What we are trying to do at the moment is to place a brick for the foundation of the Happy World of the morrows by projecting Universal Brotherhood Consciousness on human Consciousnesses. However, our Totality which appropriates to itself the idea that these calls should be taken into effect no longer individually but as a mass, has arrived at a decision to set out on the path, hand in hand with all our brothers and sisters who share this view.

For this reason, since the year 1995, every year on the 1st of November, we have been taking into effect a Symposium with the slogan "Call to World Peace from the Universal Brotherhood" ( It gives us pride and happiness to greet in this way all our brothers and sisters serving in the World Unification Project.

The subject of the symposium, the 9th of which we have taken into effect with the same slogan this year is "Suggestions and Messages to be given to Humanity on the Path of Unification and Peace in the Globalizing World". To this Symposium, we invite friends as speakers who are the representatives of the many spiritual focal points serving on the path of Friendship, Unification, Peace, Brotherhood in the entire World. In this way, we are taking into effect a Universal Unification of Knowledge.

It is our greatest wish to form a World ring together with the entire Humanity hand in hand on the Path of Light.

Vedia Bülent Çorak -
President of the Foundation - http://www.dkb-mevla

A Special Angel    (view on a separate page) (more articles about else)
Author: Mark Andrews    (all articles by this author)

A memorial to a most remarkable woman.

Geneva Wright
June 13, 1926 -
April  18, 2003

Young Geneva had a bad habit of befriending all sorts of "wild" animals in the rural surroundings of Southern Indiana. It was her family's enduring trial to put up with her kind-hearted nature toward the world's most helpless and least wanted creatures. (She had a charismatic aura that drew all animals to her in a way that would make Ellie Mae Clampet jealous!).
Geneva was also what we would today refer to as a collector of "pour souls". She couldn't bare to allow anyone to suffer or to "go without" without doing what ever she could to help alleviate their situation. So it was not too surprising to her family when 14 year old Geneva announced that she had decided to quit school in order to go to work at a near by psychiatric hospital. She was physically quite developed for her age, so she was able to successfully fib about her age, saying that she was the required age of 16 needed to work in the state's mental health system.
Even before bombs fell at Pearl Harbor, 14 year old Geneva was learning to care for schizophrenics and others living in the internal anguish of mental illness. In the 1940's, the state of psychiatric health care was barbaric, to say the least. Patient care amounted to providing reasonably clean conditions in which the patient would be "chained and shackled". Psychotropic medications at the time were nearly non-existent. Those medications that were available were used solely to sedate as opposed to achieving a chemical balance within the recipient as prescribed in today's formulas.
State of the art mental health treatment in the early 40's was electro-shock therapy (shock treatments). Geneva supervised literally thousands of patients during their shock therapies. She had placed herself at the very bottom of the "Snake Pit" - as depicted in the black and white Hollywood movie of the same name.
But Geneva was at peace in giving love and caring to so many who had been "put away" by their families. She felt that it was her life's calling. Geneva often told the story of the night in the late 1940's when a devastating fire destroyed the hospital complex in the southern part of the state where she had first worked. Amazingly, all of the patients and workers escaped unharmed. Then came the slow and arduous train ride in mail cars in which hundreds of psych patients had been chained to the floors and walls to be transported north to Indianapolis to be relocated in an expanded area of the (then) Central State Hospital For The Insane. Geneva remained at the patients' side all along the way, and into their new facility.
As time went along - and mental health care began to emerge as a creditable field - the changing of the hospital's name to the more civilized "Central State Hospital" reflected the developing social conscience toward the mentally ill. I came to work at Central State in June of 1975. If I remember correctly, I met Geneva within the first couple of weeks of my employment. We immediately struck up a friendship based on our common priorities and a shared (and sometimes "wild") sense of humor. As Geneva so often observed, "As awful as it is to work around here, if you can't find some way to laugh about it, then YOU'LL go crazy."
Geneva was transferred to the Deaf Unit (where I had always worked) when that service was combined with her Suburban Southeastern Unit in 1981. We had each put in requests to be transferred from day shift positions to the 11P - 7:30 A shift (without the knowledge of the other's request). Hospital staffing being what it is, C.S.H. was more than happy to grant both of our requests. And so for the rest of my time at Central State, Geneva and I were co-workers, and became the closest of friends.
I brought her to work and back home again. We shared a keen interest in the paranormal, and found the "haunted" grounds at Central State to be a source of great intrigue. But most of the time, the otherwise quiet "wee-hour" hallways of the Deaf / SSU Unit were almost always echoing with our laughter.
Geneva had a favorite phrase that she would utter before breaking out in uproarious laughter...... "Ohhhhh, Lord!"
As would be supposed, Geneva had more than her share of humorous stories accumulated through her many years as a psychiatric care worker. She had so much experience working with the mentally ill that she had a real "sixth sense" when it came to a patient's needs and their quickly changing moods. She could get any patient to cooperate under any circumstance to accomplish any task.
Geneva never cared to learn to drive a car, and always traveled by city bus. She frequently found it necessary to be "on duty" with the mentally ill even when she was out and around the city. Geneva despised cruelty toward the patients, and her quick willingness to speak out against such abuse made several enemies over the course of her many years of service. She was equally "motherly" toward he patients; even those who she had never met.
She often told of being on a city bus and stepping in to prevent potential problems when a psychiatrically disturbed individual would be in a precarious situation. Once she had chased off anyone who might be threatening the psychotic individual, she would then discipline the disturbed one with her "signature" opening line, "Now, what in the world is the matter with you, acting like that?" If the "patient" refused to "settle down" and behave in an acceptable manor, Geneva would pull the cord - take the rowdy individual by the back of the neck - and physically remove them from the bus. She often reflected on such instances with the words, "I'll bet everyone else on that bus thought " I " was the crazy one!"
We each had our specialized patients. I, having Sign Language experience, would be her interpreter with the deaf patients. She, on the other hand, would step in for me when a female patient had a "personal" need to attend to. We worked together for all of those many years in the most pleasant and enjoyable symbiotic relationship.
I left Central State in 1988 to pursue jobs in education. Geneva stayed on for another few years to finally retire in 1993, following 53 years of service on the front lines and in the trenches of psychiatric patient care.
One day, Geneva came upon THE ugliest, dustiest, mean looking, pit-bull puppy that had been abandoned. She took him in and raised "Bruiser" as her own child. Not too surprisingly, Bruiser was always incredibly docile and well behaved; and an excellent guard dog as well.
In the intervening years following our mutual departure from C.S.H., I would sometimes catch up with Geneva at here favorite coffee shop in the Fountain Square district of town. Even then, there never seemed to be enough time to laugh and enjoy each other's company.
I have been preoccupied recently with all of the details involved in moving into a new house. I haven't been able to keep up with my regular routine of reading the daily news paper.
Consequently, I missed Geneva's "first" obituary announcement following her death on Good Friday, April 18th of this year, 2003. As it turned out, almost everyone associated with her at Central State turned out at the announced location to pay their respects to this amazing lady. Everyone turned up - that is - except for Geneva. Through a very strange series of mis-information, miscalculation, and other highly unlikely "foul ups", "Geneva" never made it to her own funeral. The assembled well wishers had ample opportunity to reflect on their fond memories of Geneva, and put her to rest in their minds and hearts.
Plans for Geneva's "second" funeral were arranged, and another notice appeared in the Indianapolis Star obituaries of April 25, 2003. I was, again, preoccupied with the new house and, again, did not pay notice to the obituaries. That Friday night (4-25-03) I was entertaining several house guests and gave them a tour of the "far out / shagadellic" carpet strips that came with the house; nailed to the basement wall. After a few minutes in the basement, I felt a "presence" which I attributed as being someone now in spirit who was associated with the decore in the basement. The presence was so powerful that I began to become a little ill, and had to call the tour short due to the strange "energy" that was resonating in my throat and nostrils.
The next morning, I found myself with two unread morning papers, and it seemed only appropriate that I should read the Friday paper before the Saturday paper. It was then that I came upon Geneva's obituary. It was startling to see, but not altogether "shocking". I knew that Geneva had been in declining health for some time. Nonetheless, it was a difficult task to read and accept the information.
The notice said that a memorial service would be held at Alpha Funeral Services on Monday, April 28. I had never before heard of the business, and had to look it up in the business white pages.
I was never quite sure how Geneva felt about death and the human response to it. I had just enough of an idea to be able to consider that maybe Geneva would not want a "funeral" per se. I realized that it was her that I had felt as a "presence" in the basement the night before and asked of her whether or not she would want me to attend the listed service. I let go of the thought and awaited an unmistakable sign.
The next day (Sunday) I was merging into traffic on I-65 and fell in behind a car with the personalized license plate, "GO 2 ALFA". (Message received.)
As I was busy getting ready for the service that Monday morning, I had to run out to the car to get some things from the front seat. There - "out of the Blue" - sat an 8 week old female "Rot" puppy on the sidewalk near my car. (Geneva had often expressed the desire to have also had a female "Rot" to raise from a pup to be a companion for Bruiser.) The pup followed me into the house and has refused to leave my side from that moment. As we came walking through the front door for the first time, my stereo was tuned to an "oldies" station; the words, "I'll have my special angel here to watch over me" were coming through the speakers.
All I had to feed her for her first meal with me was left-over Thai chicken (which she devoured with great enthusiasm).
In honor of Geneva, I decided to use the city bus to go to her funeral (somehow it seemed "right" at the time). I arrived to find that the only attendees for the "second" funeral would be Geneva's daughter and son-in-law, and me.
We all agreed that Geneva had found some way to pull the right strings to make that happen in the way that it did. I had been briefed on all of the "high strangeness" surrounding the confusion about the original funeral, and found it difficult to sit through the very private service - as the minister spoke words of comfort - without looking at Geneva's miraculously well preserved remains and not laughing as I considered, "Darn it Geneva, you always SAID you'd be late to your own funeral, and you WERE!" Geneva got the "last laugh", and - Bless you Dear Geneva - you shared it only with me.

You are my Special Angel!

With much love and gratitude,

P.S. Thanks for my "other" guardian angel.
I named her "Asia".

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