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Project X Newsletter Expanded, issue #38

May 27, 2000

1. Opening Words - Alexander Aldarow
2. Practical Theology and the Matrix - Sister Hebe Quicksilver
3. Asylum of The Undead: Part I - Introduction and brief history - Mark Andrews
4. Today's Mail: Poltergeist and Sleep Paralysis - Rhonda
5. Trusting Divine Spirit - Nancy Krinkey
6. Closing Words

Opening Words    (view on a separate page)
Author: Alexander Aldarow    (all articles by this author)

First, allow me to start with a couple of administrative announcements :) For all those poets who where disappointed my the results of our contest, I recommend you all to try, where you have a good chance to get paid for your creations.
In addition, it seems that our chats, thanks to Tia, have became almost daily, so, seekers of answers or those just interested in contacts, go to our chat page. Plus, I'm reminding you that our poll # 2 is still running, so take a second to answer its burning question.
Now to the newsletter itself. Starting from this issue we are beginning a series of articles by one of our most constant contributors, Mark Andrews, titled under "Asylum of The Undead". I am sure you all will enjoy his narrative of the unrealistic events that happened for real.
I will not delay too much in my opening words, however. I am freeing the stage to Sister Hebe, who brings you of the most brilliant articles this newsletter saw. And the article comes exactly on time. I believe that certain people close to our circles are really in need of reading this fine item.
One last thing, though. I had in mind to dedicate the next issue to ancient civilizations. If you had unusual dreams, visions or apparitions of cities older than time, buried under deepest oceans and distant sands, if you have recollection of your previous reincarnations in Atlantis and Lemuria, in Egypt and Babylon, or other countries, totally forgotten by history, please send them in, we appreciate all of your input.
And now...

Practical Theology and the Matrix    (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
Author: Sister Hebe Quicksilver    (all articles by this author)

(or, knowing everything is worth nothing if it's all in your head)

(To those of you who have seen the movie The Matrix and are convinced that its allegory is more than an allegory, be warned. This letter is the Red Pill. Ignore it if you would rather take the blue pill. No shit. I am entirely serious. If you are not ready to lay down every lie that you've ever told yourself, don't bother to read this. This is not a game. This is not a hoax. For those of you who asked for it, here it is.)

In "The Matrix" there was a father-redeemer figure (Morpheus) who was instrumental in deprogramming people who had the courage to see the truth and live in reality. That is who I work with. That is what I do. I work with only a handful of others who are able to stand to the rigors of the work. I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. I found him.

The first things you will want to know, maybe or maybe not
1] Artificial intelligence should more accurately be called fantasy or imagination. It is entirely true that most folks love their own imagination more than reality. They don't tell themselves or anyone else the exact truth, and they don't gauge their life by the plumb-line of the outcome of their actions. This causes you to not be able to see what is real, and creates the fantasy - isolation effect that you feel. Your soul seeks the reality, but any guilt and dishonesty creates a broken line (somewhat like a short in power) and the effect is to sedate with illusion.

2] There is a power plant. In the US after 1865, Massah no longer chained slaves, Massah entertained them. Slaves from every household now willingly participate in their slavery and are very punctual in reporting to the modern plantation, which is now called the plant, for short. To avoid reality and the responsibility for their actions, people choose to sell their labor, their hands, minds, and bodies for cash to purchase food, shelter, entertainment, fantasy, ego-enhancing accoutrements, a greater advantage over others in the system, and sexual gratification. The pursuit of these things to the exclusion of truth and personal responsibility induces an effective mental slavery.

When a person does not have the courage to take absolute responsibility for their own existence, they must pretend that there is a valid reason for giving up their life to the master they have chosen. Most folks do not want to take on the responsibility for themselves and for the outcome of their actions. In other words, they do not want to be sovereign. They do not want to force themselves out of the sleep of slavery. They want to have someone else to blame for their problems, whether it be the government, the nazis, the jews, the trilateral commission, their significant other, their parents, or the devil. In doing this, however, they give up their freedom. They lose the quality that makes them truly human and become verbal animals.

Outcome is the accurate measurement of motive and intent
Now, let me tell you what I am doing, not what I am thinking about that should be done, or what I am imagining. The painful reality is that imagination is an integral part of the Matrix. If you can't create, implement, and administrate a process through which your thoughts are able to take on physical proportions in space, energy, elements, and motion - if you have assembled a philosophy in your mind but you can't manifest it without the process breaking down in reality, then it's part of the Matrix.

I am a part of a military organization that is building scientific government upon nonviolent principles, the military science of nonviolence as was used both in India by our dear Mahatma Gandhi, and by the students of the Civil Rights movement here in the US in the 1960's.

We are doing several things. Our organization is building businesses, not to make money, but to provide necessary services to the community as a way to show people how truth creates economic stability. However, truthfulness is very lucrative, because you don't confuse your wants with your needs and end up financing addiction of one sort or another to sedate the pain that is caused by the secondary effects of dishonesty. And people ask for your services, because you don't rob them and the quality of work is excellent. Your mind is sharpened by the joy of excellence instead of being dulled by the justification of negligence.

We are introducing real education in the public schools, here - programs that we were asked to create by the school system in order to initiate character development classes for delinquent children. Our CEO is the person who planned and strategically executed the significant Civil Rights Movement campaigns from 1960 - 1968 with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. King was really a figurehead, but part of the miseducation campaign that has been instituted in order to create hero worship of a man instead of a scientific understanding of the process that would show people how to govern themselves and be free.

This miseducation process is not part of a plot by some mysterious THEY, but by regular people, people like you and I who would rather buy into a lie that some charismatic leader miraculously performed a great feat of bravery and go back to sleep rather than taking responsibility for using the same principles to govern themselves and create healthy communities. The truth is that you have chosen to be Rip Van Winkle, sleeping through the Revolution. Will you wake up?

We are making ourselves honest people. We are building relationships based upon agreements between honest people, because those are the only agreements that can be kept. If a person doesn't know what motivates them, they will not be able to make a sovereign decision to keep an agreement. They will say anything, but they cannot manifest anything. They will be fooled by their unconscious obsession to sedate themselves from the effects of lying, from the compulsion to justify actions that don't make sense in the harsh light of reality. They will be swayed by their insecurities and vanity to do things that they hope will assure them security in a situation that will be to their advantage, without taking into consideration what effect it will have on others.

Picture being honest enough with yourself to be able to be totally honest with another person about everything that you think and do. Picture living naked and unashamed, because you are truthful, you know yourself and your true needs, and you don't violate yourself or do things that cause you shame. Picture being so free inside you that no one can control you with your fears of being discovered to be a phony. Picture being free enough that you are not motivated by shame, but by love.

If you can be honest, even thinking about this last paragraph created either immediate denial or great pain in you. It causes anger and anxiety, and the compulsion to stop reading, stop thinking, and do something pleasurable. Now you can see that the prison you are in is not externally imposed. It is imposed by your own pathological tendency toward dishonesty and slumber. You are suffering from the effects of laboring under the assumption that you cannot know truth.

We refuse to test our secret imaginations and fantasies in reality. We refuse to evaluate the outcomes of our own actions truthfully, and then we demand agreement and restitution or we declare personal, clan, or national war. This is all an elaborate ruse to convince ourselves that we could not be the cause of our suffering. It is a universal and well-accepted lie, but it is only a justification for not being honest about the cause and effect relationship between what we have sown and what we reap. Oh yes, we will kill about that.

Since the law of cause and effect is absolute, if we are not honest about cause, we will be mystified about effect. Our fear of an enemy is the externalization of an "inner me" who is afraid of suffering the effects of this divorce from reality. We ignore the cause and effect calamities that we have inflicted upon ourselves by our pathological social and personal irresponsibility. However, since our minds know the truth even when we play crazy about cause and effect, we know that there is trouble coming. We just lie about where it's coming from, and why it happens.

The called vs. the Chosen
This military organization is based on a nonviolent clinical process. This process is a science that has an interesting history, which I will relate to you a bit at a time if you write to me for the information.

Right here is where the culling of the chosen begins. The difference between the called and the Chosen is the ability to stand up and be truthful, to 1] point out my wrong, 2] acknowledge it, 3] confess it, 4] repent, 5] atone, 6] forgive, 7] reconcile, and 8] regain perfect union with the Source. Following these steps perpetually, sincerely and bravely is the key to the door of the internal prison. If you are to be Chosen, you must love truth more than your projected image of yourself. If you don't, you will protect your image and ignore the truth. That is your choice.

It is true that many are called, but few are Chosen. The first qualification for being the Chosen (which is the ability to manifest truth, beauty and order and to see into the hearts of men and heal them) is the choice to have integrity, or to have the courage to be consistently truthful. Anyone can be a coward. This is what has caused what you see around you every day in the community wherever you are and where I am, too.

About the organization for further assistance
This is a military organization. It is not religious. We are not moral. We are social scientists, social engineers. We choose to be willing to die rather than to be slaves, but we are not willing to kill in order to be free. To agree to kill is to become a predator, and, according to the law of cause and effect, every predator has agreed to become another predator's lawful prey. We know that we cannot ask for justice if we are not just. We do not claim a right to anything we have not pledged our lives to achieve for the rest of the family of Man, both male and female. We know that we cannot create advantage for ourselves without it being summarily used against us. We are not many, but we are very effective. We are an army that uses the mind as the weapon that kills ignorance and lies, not people.

It is much harder to accept the real Matrix, because we have such an investment in it, and because we are free to walk away at any time, but choose not to. It is hard to accept that the Chosen choose themselves, and that the first test of Chosenness is the degree to which we are willing to speak to our contribution to the Matrix of lies and deceit that keeps the whole world ensnared and asleep. It is hard to accept waking up to the pain of the truth as our sister and guide, who tells us when there is something that we are not doing correctly. It is hard not to sedate her, but to let her be our angel of truth, to relax into her and to let her tell us her secret, that there is no enemy. There is only ignorance, held in place by the denial of the truth. Until we accept the truth, we are living in an opium cloud of confusion and self-perpetuated delusion. Once truth has taken hold of the mind then the law of cause and effect becomes a tool for consciously implementing positive personal and social change.

My work as an educator/clinician is that of a midwife, to deliver others out of the web of self-inflicted slavery. If anyone is interested in removing your contribution to the Matrix, please contact me. If you are interested in joining the army, first decide if you are willing to go to hell to be truthful. If not, go back to sleep, you can't play liberation. But if you understand what I am saying and are willing to take the test with no assurance that you will pass it, there may be a place for you in the army.

However, we do not turn anyone away. We do not traffic in divorce of any sort. This is a sacred struggle, and as long as a person is willing to take the necessary steps to clinically restore themselves, they are welcome to continue the process. If they are not willing they leave on their own. This is not a place where you can come just to find shelter from the rain. The contradiction itself will kill you. Many people choose to die as opposed to being truthful, but this is honorable, because fertilizer is as necessary as truth. We have no friends. We have no bosses. We only have comrades. The truth is the only friend and the only authority a person needs to be happy and free.

Accept that it is entirely up to you whether you will pass this test. No one can stop you from passing it, and no one can help you pass it. The burden is on you, and you know if you pass it or not. It is hard, it is the second hardest thing in the world to do, to be absolutely truthful with yourself and the community, but there is one thing harder. That is to continue to lie. Accept that if you don't pass the test it is because it is your choice to love illusions rather than truth. But your mind will never forgive you. It will turn on you and destroy itself, because you have denied your purpose for living and so you cull yourself out of the community of the Chosen.

These are truths that you already know if you would be the Chosen. This is the red pill.

It is up to you to decide what you will do next.

Sister Hebe Quicksilver
Daughter of Zeus

Asylum of The Undead: Part I - Introduction and brief history    (view on a separate page) (more articles about else)
Author: Mark Andrews    (all articles by this author)

Ghostly Encounters at Central State Hospital
copyright 2000
A true account by
Mark Andrews
Part I
Introduction and brief history

What do CHARLES MANSON and the REV. JIM JONES have in common? On the outset, you might suppose that aside from severe psychotic disabilities, the two would have no common denominator.
The fact is that they each one of them spent an amount of time on the same real estate.
Central State (psychiatric) Hospital
3000 W. Washington St.
Indianapolis, Indiana 46222
Interestingly, neither Manson nor Jones ever resided on the hospital grounds as resident patients.
Charles Manson grew up right across the street from Central State. At the time, in the late 1940's and early '50's, he lived with an aunt in a small house near the corner of W. Vermont and N. Exeter streets. During that time, he was frequently retained at the Indiana Boys' School in near-by Plainfield, IN.
A section of the grounds (at the corner of N. Warman Ave. and Vermont St.) was set aside as a playground and picnic area; often utilized for church functions. This area would sometimes serve as a short-cut for those wishing to walk from Warman Ave. to Vermont St. It sits right outside of the hospital's north fence, within site of Manson's boyhood home. Charles, like all of the kids in the neighborhood, would no doubt hang out in this park. It is my theory that his time spent on and near these grounds in some way contributed to his past and current state of mental dysfunction.
I'm by no means trying to suggest that psychotic disorders are somehow contagious. It is the land ITSELF that keeps a buried secret.
The ground on which Central State Hospital was built is the burial place of the most powerful shamans and chiefs of the Miami Nation. In native terms, it was the equivalent of Arlington National Cemetery.
Mt. Jackson, as it came to be known, is the handiwork of indigenous American mound builders. The land was desecrated in the early 1850's to facilitate the construction of a repository asylum for the "insane". The site was chosen due to its (then) "safe" distance from the state's newly built capital city; Indianapolis. Standard policy in the 1850's for the care of the mentally ill was, "Out of mind / out of sight".
The Mt. Jackson area is now regarded as deeply inner-city: primarily Hispanic in its demographics. It is now the site of Mt. Jackson Cemetery, and the mostly dilapidated remains of Central State Hospital. The institution was closed by order of then Governor Evan Byah due to an unacceptable death rate among the resident patients.
One edifice, the pathology building, remains functioning as a museum. It served in the 1800's as an instructional facility for medical and psychology students. The classrooms and auditorium have been preserved; including books, hardware, and instruments that were in use at the time.
One of the more intriguing features of the museum is its collection of human and animal brains which are on display in their formaldehyde filled glass containers, dating from the same period.
It was accepted practice in the 19th Century that at the death of asylum inmates, they would be be buried on the facility's grounds in a discrete grave yard. The Central State patients' cemetery was also desecrated in 1973, with the building of the Bolton building, a residence hall for low-risk inmates.

The Rev. Jim Jones spend his formative years in Indianapolis. He was raised in a very harsh Baptist family. Early on, he determined to renounce his strict Baptist up-bringing. When he came of age, he entered theology school and later founded The Peoples' Temple, a multi-racial congregation whose first church building was on West 10th St., just about a mile and a half from Central State.
For all of his later delusional escapades, Rev. Jones was one of the pioneers of the civil rights movement in the early 1950's. He became famous for leading his diverse congregants to various - previously segregated - businesses in the city and hereby persuading the business owners to reverse their policy of "Whites only" by the repeated arrival of several hundred multiracial customers. It was non-violent AND financially expedient for the shop keepers.
Rev. Jones would frequently come to Central State to do missionary work with the patients. He was always a welcome visitor, especially among the African American patients, for whom he had a special affinity.
I further theorize that Rev. Jones (as in the case of Charles Manson) came under the influence of psychic and spiritual energies and entities that would later come to command him into the irrational and self- destructive actions that claimed his life, as well as the lives of more than 900 others.

On June 15, 1975, I began orientation classes at Central State. I was 23 years old at the time and was pre-assigned to work on the Grey (Deaf) Unit in the Bolton Bldg. I would eventually be employed at CSH for more than 13 years. I was a quick-hire because of my previous sign-language training from when I was studying to be a minister for the deaf at Concordia College, Milwaukee WI, and at Concordia Senior College, Ft. Wayne, IN: both operated by The Lutheran Church, Missouri Synod.
I was going to work in the building that had been built over the old patients' grave yard, in a facility that had been build in defiance of the sanctity of honored dead of the Miami Nation. On my father's side, is a strong line of indigenous Mohicans. It's clear to me (and to those who see me) that I carry a heavy dose of Mohican genetics. I, as well, have a high level of spiritual awareness and psychic sensitivity - most likely an aspect of my Christian faith in conjunction with my Mohican heritage.
With the above points considered, you can see how I was well in for the most life-altering of experiences among the living and the dead who I encountered within the Mt. Jackson Vortex.
It took only two days of exposure to the land for the first encounter to take place...

[To be continued in the next issue]
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Today's Mail: Poltergeist and Sleep Paralysis    (view on a separate page) (more articles about else)
Author: Rhonda    (all articles by this author)

I have always been curious about the unexplained. Searching for why they may happen and how to have an open mind when they do. But over the last four years I have had several experiences with what I feel are two or three different entities.
One is what my children and I refer to as 'Mr. Friendly'. Unusual occurrences such as the computer and curling iron turning on, there was no timer set and it was not a short. Then there have been other circumstances that may or may not have been 'Mr. Friendly'. Nothing frightening but a little uneasy feeling surrounding them at times. All the car doors locking as we pulled into the driveway, a picture falling off the wall (the hook on the picture and the nail in the wall still in tact), the television turning off and on several times then staying either off or on, footsteps in the house when everyone is in bed, a lamp with a turn switch turning on and other minor occurrences.
Then there is the last entity. One that I have only felt four times, but each times has left me filled with terror. My first experience was four years ago. My fiance and I were staying at my Mother's house and sleeping on the hid-a-bed. It was approximately 3 in the morning when I woke up from what I first thought was a horrible dream. In my 'dream' I was laying down and someone was holding me. The feeling of fear is what woke me. When I opened my eyes there was a black shadow above me and I could not move my arms. It was like a force field was holding them down. I tried desperately to move them and then tried to cry out for help, but there was too much force over my face... almost suffocating. After about a minute of struggling I managed to get enough strength to move one arm far enough to grab my fiance's upper leg. Instantly the shadow, the force and the threat was gone, and I was able to move and began crying.
The next experience, about a year later, after my fiance committed suicide, was when a friend and I were trying to understand the spiritual world. Her son, three years old, was asleep in the bed and we were in the kitchen. We heard him crying out 'Get out, leave me alone', when she went in he was sitting up crying... but still asleep.
Another year later, after I got married, my husband and I were taking a nap in the middle of the day. I suddenly felt that presence again. It was above me and I could feel it trying to 'get into' my leg. It was a burning sensation accompanied by pressure. For a few minutes I was unable to move. As soon as I was able to move slightly, it was gone.
The last experience was just last summer. I was on the computer, writing a book about my last relationship, when I felt it directly behind me.
I don't know what it is, but I do know what I feel when it's there.... it is complete terror, evil; a feeling that it will always be there.
If you have any answer, or possible explanation, I would be grateful.

Aldarow's reply:

Dear Rhonda!
After successfully clearing some things up for myself, I am finally free enough to answer your letter.
First of all, the one you had at 3 AM, with the sense of something holding you and suffocation. I had several experiences like that, as well as so many people around the globe. In most of the cases, I think, the explanation doesn't have to be supernatural. It is a known phenomenon, ASP - Awareness during Sleep Paralysis. You see, when we're asleep, our body is paralyzed so that we won't act out the things we dream. But sometimes we slightly wake up, the body is still paralyzed, but the mind is active and aware. That's the origin of most of the stories about incubus, old hags sitting on one's chest, ghostly stranglers, and so on. The mind play tricks with us, mixing hallucinations with bodily sensations, creating incredible state of terror and a huge rush of adrenaline. To escape this at once, all you have to do is as much as move your little finger. That's why your action of grabbing your fiance's upper leg stopped the whole thing.
However -
I came to realize that our sixth sense, so to speak, becomes very enhanced during ASP. That is, we don't just see, hear or feel the touch of that spirit, we SENSE its presence, we receive a knowledge, an awareness that something is beside or above our bed. That's the thing we can't quite wave off, the extrasensory abilities easily opening up during ASP. ASP is also perfect for achieving astral projection and out-of-body experiences. If you are prone to having ASPs, I'd suggest you actually extend and explore this unusual state, but if you feel a danger in it, then better to stay away from such enterprises. In any case, always remember that whatever you sense during the paralysis, frightening as it is, cannot hurt you at all.
The same goes for the thing that you felt entering your leg, only in a lighter form.
Now to the other part of your letter. The way I see it, after death, we move to a certain level of existence, different from the material one. Nevertheless, people who died an unexpected and violent death, or those who regret their drastic decisions (suicide), are still 'stuck' in here, in this limbo, clogging the atmosphere around us. Like in the movie "Sixth Sense", they are everywhere. Sometimes they might manifest as harmless cases of poltergeist - objects moving, temperature dropping, water appearing at abnormal places of the house, etc. On the other hand, if someone of the people living in the house has an unexpressed anger or inner confusion, that too finds a way out, sometimes, in a form of telekinetic activity like the one above. In both cases, if the "spirits" are too bothersome, an exorcism actually might provide helpful, mostly because of the psychological effect the ritual might have either on the spirits of the deceased, or the psychic family member who is subconsciously causing it all. As an alternative, you might try to simply talk to the being, guiding it to the light and the warmth that await for it, rather than being stuck in your house. Mediums do that all the time.

All in all, if the experiences are not quite repeating, occurring once in a while, then they do not present much danger, and we even might learn something from them, expand our understanding of the spiritual world.
Phew, I've been talking on and on, hope you had the patience to read it all. I wanted actually your permission to publish your letter along with my reply in our newsletter. If you're against it, then it's OK with me. Please let me know your decision, and whether I was helpful at least a bit.

Trusting Divine Spirit    (view on a separate page)
Author: Nancy Krinkey    (all articles by this author)

(Featuring Sri Darwin Gross)
Back To Basics

"All life flow from One God downward to the worlds below, and through them, and nothing can exist without this cosmic current known as Divine Spirit, which can be heard as Sound and seen as Light."? Darwin Gross

London Heathrow Marriott Hotel
????????? Bath Road Hayes,
???????? Middlesex London,
??? UB3? 5AN,? England,? UK
Saturday & Sunday ~ July 22 & 23, 2000
???? (Seminar begins at 9:00 AM)

London Heathrow Marriott Hotel Information:
Call 011-44-181-990-1100 for Hotel Room Reservations. Fax? 011-44-181-990-1110
You must mention Darwin Gross Seminar to receive? Single or Double Sleeping Room Rate of $132.00 per night (f80. Sterling Pounds) includes breakfast.? All Room Reservations must be guaranteed at time of registration with a credit card.? Hotel is near Heathrow Airport.

Pre-Registration Information:? Cut-Off Date 7/14/2000
Pre-Registration: $150.00 per person.? f95. Sterling Pounds.
Children 16 years and younger: $75./ f45. Sterling Pounds.
At The Door: $180. per person. f110. Sterling Pounds.
Children 16 and younger: $90./ f55. Sterling Pounds.

Pre-Registration Instructions.
(NO credit cards)
Send Your Name and Address with an International Bank Draft or International Money Order converted into UK currency for f95. Sterling Pounds per person made payable to Darwin Gross and mail to:
Samira Ammounah ~ 12 Highview Road, Ealing, London, W13? OHB, England, UK

Thank You Sincerely,
in Spirit's Light and Sound,
Nancy Krinkey

Closing Words    (view on a separate page)

"And ye harm none, do what ye will."
-?Wiccan and Universal Rule

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