Project X Newsletter Expanded, issue #49November 30, 2000
1. Opening Words: Negativity - Alexander Aldarow
Opening Words: Negativity (view on a separate page) (more articles about else)
It's: Negativity. Suppressive forces. Dark side. Evil.
No, I'm not revivifying another typical discussion about the nature and the necessity of evil. It's just... well, recently I have less let people inside my soul. And, after all, this is a Project X Newsletter, one of its purposes is to inform about us, Project X, especially its founders. So here it goes.
I believe it is mentioned on the pages of our website (see the URLs at the bottom of this edition) that at the beginning of Rinor's and my mutual process of spiritual development, guided by cosmic messages, we had to go through different distinct stages/levels, each stage distinguished by the type of beings we've encountered (angels, spirits, demons, aliens), by conclusions we had to reach, by the way that our Temple appeared. No one could proceed into a particular level until the other has reached it.
Each time we were at the threshold of a level, a dream would occur to me, its purpose to prevent my progress. Not quite a dream, actually, more like a nocturnal "experience", in which I would be attacked by demons and evil spirits, threats to hurt me, my family, my beloved ones would be emitted, an attempt to frighten or choke me would occur. Whenever me and Rinor were heading to, the negative powers did not want me to proceed. And, in those dreams, my dreaming self would agree with the evil apparitions, would take a vow to never "deal with the paranormal" anymore. However, each time, when the rooster called and the morning light came, I would wake up and wonder why, on Earth, I've reached such a decision. Because, looking at the event rationally, thinking of all the exciting possibilities lying ahead of us, I wouldn't give up on them just because of some threat.
And so I continued...
There were other dreams, dreams in which I faced a choice, a dream were I was surrounded by New Age people, and then men in Nazi uniforms came in, one offering me a silver skull sign.; a dream where I went to Heaven and to Hell, and in Hell I was told to sacrifice five people. The spiritual development, however, was continuing, and, although the choice wasn't made consciously, the fact that I was heading on to one direction was undeniable. So, on the night of January 17, 1999, the showdown took place. It's also described in details on our webpages as The Experience. The bottom line of that night was - I faced Satan, and he was intending to destroy me, no matter what... and yet, he couldn't. So, with a huge effort, I drove him out of myself. The final choice was made.
The tactics against me changed. Seeing a failure of psychic attacks, as I've eventually become completely immune to any supernatural negative influence, a laughable attempt of "temptation" was made to me. When I visited my father in United States, a hidden hint of "give up on all THAT, and you will have wealth, friends, women, cars" was made by him. I know, I know, it does sound funny, like Darth Vader saying: "Join me... Join the dark side, Luke... I'm your father!" Of course, this perhaps was the easiest of all tests.
The saga doesn't stop there. I went through a rough period when I started my University studies. It was then that getting knowing the Kabbalistic approach ("control your reality!") saved me from a total self-nullification. And one day, by the end of October 1999, The Realization has descended upon me. I was free. I was free!!! The Karma was canceled, the debts were paid, the freedom was achieved. A huge burden fell from my shoulder, and my mind became crystal clear, calm and solid.
From now and on, whatever problems I was facing were only created by myself. And, yes, there were still problems. Different people were sent to infiltrate Project X under masks of pretended benevolence, trying to both convert Project X into the field of their private agenda and plant doubts within me, doubts about how real my achievements so far are. With time, I've learnt to recognize such.
Two weeks ago...
I let myself drift into the worst occurrence I had to face lately. I let negative thinking inside my head, and was drowned by irrational negative thoughts. It was like the familiar Alex was wiped out completely, in a brink of a second, and voices crawled inside of me. Yes, I know, I was thinking all these things myself, my voice was repeating those words, but if an outsider could have heard them, it would have appeared like a scenario of a horror movie about a possession. Voices, saying over and over again, "Everything dies, everything rots and crumbles, there is no hope, there is no justice, kill them all, kill yourself, time to die." Depression, darkness, death, the 3 D's.
I am not proud of myself, of the way I handled my mind back then. There is no excuse for me. Whether the suppressors are external forces or thought patterns within us, I let them emerge and take over of the place. There were only two things during those hellish couple of days that make me think that there is a hope even for me.
I KNEW that it all will eventually pass (and it has, as it is evident today).
I KNEW, logically, mentally and also somewhere at the bottom of my heart and soul, that it's all not true. Whatever the voices in my head were telling, could be easily disapproved. I saw the falsity in THAT approach.
And now I'll let my dear friend OSix speak on this issue:
"...For I still believe that if a group is not fighting suppression, whether that suppression is spiritual, physical or both, then that group is not achieving a worthwhile aim.
Now suppression comes in many different forms: farmers fight suppression in the form of drought, insects, profit/loss, weather, etc.... and they win and we all benefit from their daily struggle. Doctors fight suppression in the form of disease, injuries, death, etc.... and we all benefit from their daily fight. I know that you live under constant threat of attack everyday and if it were not for suppression fighters, you would not be able to live in Israel. My forefathers, as well, fought suppression with tremendous personal sacrifices and death so that their Posterity could live in relative freedom and safety.
Just as there is physical suppression, I also believe, with certainty from my point of view, that there is spiritual suppression. I also believe that spiritual suppression can manifest into physical suppression. Though it is almost certain that physical suppression must be defeated with bloodshed, spiritual suppression can be defeated by freeing oneself from it (with the help of allies). 'Freedom from', but one must also have a 'freedom to'. Freedom from 'what' to 'what'? 'Freedom to' a cause or mission. And one must be able to know the differences between actual (true) spiritual freedom, where one has been freed or where one is in the process of truly freeing oneself from spiritual suppression, and apparent (false) spiritual freedom, where one acquiesces by appeasing to spiritual evil... whereby spiritual evil calls a 'cease fire', so to speak. Many beings believe that they have defeated or freed ones self from spiritual evil, when in actuality, they have merely acquiesced to spiritual evil.
What a 'coincidence' that many of us at P-X (and elsewhere), over the past year, experienced point of view changes. I experienced a p.o.v. change regarding my body, other human bodies, and how I should use my earthtime (concerns, activities, causes, study, use of my time, etc.)
Another similarity is that we both believe that it is time to turn correct on-purpose ideology, into correct on-purpose action. And my current mission training is aimed in that direction, as 'directions' that were given to me 2 or 3 years ago, via my spiritual contact, are beginning to manifest.
Directions that, at the time, I did not understand the content of, nor did I understand for what purpose. I now understand that these mission training directions are the elements that are contained within the "Conditions of Potential" that were given to me in 1994 by my spiritual contact, and that I was directed to list on my homepage for potential Consorts (consorts = to come together by fate) to read.
I just wanted to let you know, or remind you, of my point of view.
See you in the future,
There is something else that OSix has told me, which put a great deal of light on the things I've described several passages earlier. He said that, if someone is being attacked, being stopped, it means that the person is doing something right. Therefore, 'they' failed not only by the fact that I overcame 'them', but also by the fact that they showed me that I was heading in a right direction. My enemies, whoever they are, whatever their origin is, have, eventually, reassured me, in their twisted, indirect way, that I was making right decisions about my life.
The necessity of 'evil'.
If I'm allowed to change the tone and the topic, I'd like to invite
you all to visit this brand new site, by our beloved Lady Tia. It is the
dream dictionary and interpretation board site. The address is http://www.angelfire.com/electronic/cymorilm/dream/dreami.html.
Pandora's Box (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
Reference: "Brain Wave Diary" (11/18/00)
Pandora's Box - setting the record straight.
The first mortal woman was forged by Hephaestus (Roman Vulcan), and was named Pandora (all-gifted) because each of the gods gave her a power that was to bring about the ruin of man. On her marriage she brought as her dowry a large vase (Pandora?s Box}. When she opened it all evils flew out, and have ever since continued to inflict the world. Or so the story goes.
Hope alone remained in the box.
Often, the phrase "To open Pandora's box" is used to indicate the folly of releasing all evil's again. A phrase designed to dissuade pursuit of a particular course of action, often another phrase, "Starting on the slippery slope of....", (insert your own perceived folly here), is another dissuasive term. It would seem to me, if Pandora did release all evils, then the deed is done, once and for all. The cat is out of the bag and the horse is out of the barn already.
It seems reasonable to assume Pandora did release all evils for they are evident all about us.
But wait a minute!
Pandora can perhaps be blamed for all evil released, but evil itself can do nothing. The most we can ascribe to Pandora, was the release of the knowledge of evil. Evil has no capacity to do anything, alone. Evil requires a human individual to select and use a particular aspect of evil for it to manifest. I would hazard to guess Pandora would have noticed nothing when she popped the cork, for evil alone, has no form or substance.
Pandora got a bad rap and so did Eve, even if only in the man-made stories!
Evil, in fact, has no existence without an enabler. Whether an individual chooses to activate a particular evil is "free choice", our most sacred right. In this regard, I hereby absolve Pandora of any committed evil in the world and bring the focus back to those that choose to activate an evil, thereby making it a reality.
What say you?
It cannot be Pandora's fault an individual chooses to manifest an evil deed - can it?
There is good reason why Pandora's box needs to be opened again. Hope alone remained in the box. If hope is within Pandora's box, then releasing it is a worthy endeavor, not a despicable one. It is time then, to set the record straight and advocate that opening Pandora's box again is a good thing, for all it contains is hope and hope is all!
Releasing hope may get us on the slippery slope of world transformation to a better way. Slippery slopes sound like fun to me!
Are you game?
Doug AkA WaveWarrior
~(R U 2)~ (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
From the Social Conscience series - lest we forget
Reference: "Brain Wave Diary" (11/11/00)
Reduced to tears
A Reuter's BUSINESS headline grabbed me today, by the heart and with both gnarly hands and squeezed - HARD!
The headline alluded to the ALARM registered by an INSURANCE company that one individual was dying of the AIDS virus per minute in South Africa. That is sixty per hour, or 521,280 persons a year.
My mind immediately associated with the pain, suffering, terror and horror of this horrendous fact.
Moments later, I puzzled why this report of ABSOLUTE human tragedy and horror was JUST an alarm from an insurance company? If the headline had read, "The kill rate of a conflict somewhere in the world had a rate of one person per minute", I am sure it would NOT have originated as an alarmed insurance company statement flying by on the daily business ticker. Many other examples abound but this one raised a flag!
Have we become so callous, cynical, hardened and desensitized that horrendous human suffering has been reduced to a commercial prospect? Have we accepted that each individual is no more than a jot, one iota of someone's bottom line and economic projection?
Is THIS the new reality!
You and I, now but an inventoried product, an automaton of consumerism on the buying side of life's equation? A demographic finger to be counted on to click a banner ad. A lost revenue opportunity or a "payout" liability if we expire.
What happened to concern for the sake of it? Is this possible?
How else could it be explained that an announcement of such enormous gravity is flashed on the display screen of life carrying a commercial connotation? How could the context be such that it smacks of lost market share, premium or insurance payment "blow out" or some other bothersome economic trend?
How else could it be?
Remember when someone in your community got sick or hurt and it was news. Remember the doctor who rushed to your home in time of need? Remember the nurse that gave compassion or the teacher who picked you up and checked your scrape? You remember when, if some personal item was stolen, or a car was broken into - it was noteworthy and pursued? Remember when a "fight off the school bus" was a huge local scandal and commanded attention.
Remember when you could go tell someone if you saw a travesty unfold?
I do, I remember, it was not THAT long ago! I liked the fact at the time, it felt like things and folks mattered and someone, somewhere cared.
Have we devolved to a point of irrelevance? What have we been reduced to?
I am reduced to tears! I need to go and tell someone about something RIGHT NOW.
How about you?
Doug aKa UNIT UR2
The Power Of Thought (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
As most of us understand, we create our own reality. We DO indeed create that we call reality. As I have said in one of posts on the forum "thought IS EVERY THING." For us in this world it IS the creative force of God.
God took "thought" (the thought) and SAID "light" (the concept), BE. And it was so, and IT WAS GOOD. Thought IS the creative force of God and light was THE create-ed force, from that thought. For every thing that we see, every thing that IS, IS LIGHT.
To illustrate just how powerful it IS, I would share with you the understanding I have received from, yes, the Bible. Whether you read it or not, does not matter. I, personally, "as I think most of you know", don't subscribe to most of present teachings from that book. However, ALL my revelations have indeed come from that book, but confirmed through many other writings.
The story of Jesus's mother and the so-called immaculate conception. Now, whether or not you believe what is said, is irrelevant. Just do not totally reject it, give some thought, and meditation to the concept. And see what happens?
Oh, yeah! No, I AM NOT one who adheres to the teachings of the blessed mother.
The story goes that Mary, Jesus mother had a visit from an Angel of the Lord and he said to her: The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee and overshadow thee. Therefor also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called The Son of God. For with God (the logos) NOTHING shall be impossible.
And Mary said, behold, The hand maiden of the Lord, be it unto me according to thy word.
From my own understanding Mary was an Essene, a religious group of her day. She actually "thought" or "knew" that The Son of God would be born of a virgin from their group. The Essenes, by the way, KNEW the "power of thought" and taught that to all of its followers. They also had good understanding of the Old Testament, especially where the birth of The Son of God was concerned.
Now Mary had heard all her life the story of the birth of one who would be called Emanuel, who would be born of a virgin. She took that story to heart and believed that SHE would be the mother of that child. No, she did not go around telling everyone about her feelings. She just "knew" within herself she would be the one.
That is exactly why when the angel of the Lord came to her and told her that, he did, she already knew it and the angel only confirmed it, and she believed. That thought she carried within herself all her 18 or so years "actually" became reality.
Now can you see the "absolute " power of 'thought"? THOUGHT created a living organism in her womb.
As I have said, THOUGHT IS EVERYTHING. Remember The Word, the logos, the thought or the concept. And the WORD (logos) was with God, and The WORD (logos) "thought or concept", WAS God. The "absolute" creative force that is God IS THOUGHT.
Now say I, I AM NOT asking anyone to believe this understanding of mine, just ponder it. If you can't accept it at all, simply let it go. If it has any merit, you will hear of this again. But to some it is only a confirmation.
Awareness brings change... (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
The Presidential Election this year and all the problems surrounding it, like all things is no accident. You can blame whomever, or whatever you wish, but the bottom line is it happened in order to awaken the people that change must come about if the "will of the People" and not the "will of the Politicians" is to come about in this country. Read between the lines. See the discrepancies in the manipulation that has gone on for a very long time, but until a race came this close it would never have been noticed. Votes being discarded. Machines that did not work... or did they? Then there is the Butterfly voting pamphlet that was designed to help not hinder the voting process... that did just the opposite. How many people in this country did not understand the Electoral College and what it meant to "their" vote?
All of this is telling people... "Wake-up! it is time for change and it is up to you to see it is done."
It has been said time and time again that the last decade of this Millennium would bring about changes in many areas of our lives and regardless of all the hoopla last New Year's eve... this Millennium is in its last throes, the New Millennium does not begin till January 1, 2001.
Using A Journal For Personal Development (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
A great man once said that a life worth living is a life worth recording. With this truth in mind, let us examine the time-honoured method of keeping a Journal as a powerful tool for self-improvement.
Firstly, understand that a Journal is NOT a diary. Although the line is definitely blurred, a diary largely deals with externals. A Journal is about your inner being. It is actively used as a tool for self-improvement, as opposed to passively recording events.
The benefits of keeping a Journal are that through doing so, you monitor your own internal processes. It can be used to integrate psychological parts within yourself that have long remained in conflict. A Journal can help you see the changing cycles within your life - processes that only become evident when rigorous self-examination is used. It helps you to remember your dreams, and begin to understand and gain insight from them. Most importantly, the keeping of a Journal puts you ever closer in touch with the Higher Self - the highest part of you responsible for creativity, wisdom and for orchestrating the events of your life.
In short, keeping a Journal turns your life from a seemingly random succession of events into a well-defined school. You begin to see the lessons in your life and put them into practice.
What is the best procedure? There are many, and it is really a very in-depth subject. In this short discussion, we shall examine a few ideas to get you on the road of at least starting a Journal and thereby experiencing immediate benefits.
The first step is to physically get yourself a suitable Journal. This should ideally be an A4 book with either lined or unlined paper. Don't get a diary as you will not be doing a "day to a page" or anything like that. However, the book you buy should ideally have section dividers of some sort. Alternatively, you can buy a file folder, corresponding pad of paper, and a set of dividers. Use the dividers to create different sections in your Journal.
The first section you should keep is the Daily Log. Here, you make brief entries during the day, preferably immediately after the event. In this section, you record any internal events that you deem of importance. Emotions, reactions, thoughts, realizations, interactions with people or situations, and the internal effects they had upon you. If there was an external trigger, you record just enough of it to make sense of the entry. The key here is brevity.
Even though your outer life may be relatively uneventful from one day to the next, you will soon find that your inner life is alive and rich and full of happenings. As you do this over time, more insights will begin to occur. For instance, you will start to perceive the triggers that cause your behaviour. You will become increasingly aware of how you handle yourself and how you could do better. You will become less "automatic" and more conscious of your choices in each and every situation.
Another section you should keep is a dream journal. Here you record ANY impressions, fragments or complete dreams that you recall. If you do not normally remember dreams, this procedure will help stimulate recall. Keep the Journal by your bed and record anything that you remember. Better still, tell yourself before you sleep that you WILL remember your dreams. If you still don't remember anything, consider setting an alarm clock at some point in the night, and write down whatever you recall as soon as you awaken. If the answer is nothing, reset the alarm clock!
Dreams are one place where your intuitive, creative self - which can only speak in images - seeks to establish communication with you. Thus by making this effort, you begin to come into conscious communion with parts of yourself that transcend your normal conscious intelligence.
The next section is where you ask questions that you need answers to. These can relate to any area of your life whatsoever - relationships, spirituality, work, creativity, and so on. Actually, you are asking your Higher Self for the answers.
Write your entry here in the form of a question. Date it and leave it. Then pay attention to your dreams, the events of the day, and your own internal insights and thought processes. The various parts of the Journal fit beautifully together to give you the answers you seek. Expect an answer and it will come. If nothing happens, simply repeat the process the next day with the same question! Be insistent. The answer will eventually appear.
The final section of the Journal that we will talk about is the Life Cycles section. You review your life and try to describe it in terms of the big cycles that you have experienced. It may have been a relationship cycle, an employment/career cycle, a cycle of religious affiliation. It differs for each person. Ponder your life and recognise the major cycles. For example, it may be your ten-year marriage, your six year career with XYZ Corp., your troubled teenage years, etc. Within each major cycle, write the main events that made it up as a series of brief entries. If you do this properly, you should also be able to identify minor cycles within the major. Do this also for the current cycle that you are living in right now.
Of course, many different cycles overlap each other in our lives. The point is simply to begin to get a perspective on the major movements within our lives that have brought us to where we are today.
Being able to see the large cycles and sub-cycles helps you to achieve a much expanded consciousness and context for your life. You see how the events of life seem orchestrated - as indeed they are - to lead you to learn many lessons and gain profound realizations. You begin to realize where you failed to learn the lesson, and therefore had to experience it all over again in another time and place until it finally sank in. In short, you gain perspective. In doing so, you become more empowered to lay out a grander vision for your future.
There is one final and important point. Your Journal is PRIVATE. Therefore, say what you wish openly and do not censor yourself. This is the one place where you can speak freely so give yourself that blessing. At the same time, keep the Journal in a safe place where it will not be available to prying eyes!
This has been a whirlwind introduction to the benefits of the Journal, although a lot has been covered. Doubtless, other possible sections lend themselves to your imagination, as indeed should be the case. The Journal is YOUR personal tool for self-growth and should thus arise out of your needs and aspirations. If you want to study the subject in greater depth, there are plenty of resources available on the subject. However, the important thing is just to get started and experience the benefits NOW. You have enough ideas here to create a deeply enriching life tool for yourself. May it bring you many tender insights and blessings.
Copyright 2000, Asoka Selvarajah. All Rights Reserved.
You can subscribe to his FREE ezine, Aspire To Wisdom, at: http://www.aksworld.com/AspireToWisdom.htm?PROX
Developing A Reflective Life In The Midst Of Turmoil (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
One of the most important things you can do in life is to simply find time for yourself. By this, we don't mean opting out of society or "spacing out". Value yourself enough to give yourself time to simply be, without any expectation of goal or result. Paradoxically, by doing this, we can often achieve far more in our externally focused lives than we otherwise might.
When our lives are primarily externally focused, it becomes easy to lose sight of the gameplan. What are we doing all this for? What is the point of it all? Like too many stressed out corporate "high-fliers", we may reach the very top of the ladder, only to find that it is leaning against the wrong wall. The joy of simply living all too easily evaporates as we postpone our pleasure for some unspecified future date. We don't allow ourselves to be happy NOW, but instead promise ourselves that when we have got that promotion, or fallen in love with that ideal partner, or had that baby, bought that new home, or become a millionaire, THEN we can be happy. Meanwhile the present time, which in truth is all we ever really have, quietly slips away.
The biggest trap is to work for money. Many people do this assuming that once a certain amount of money has been amassed in the bank, or once they can see the sheer immensity of their assets laid out before them, THEN they will be truly happy. Again, it is an utter illusion. The truth is that you have to prepare your mindset for wealth first or else (a) you will never truly achieve it because your inner mind will forever act to keep you within your comfort zone or, (b) if you do achieve it, you will not have developed the habits of mind to be content with it anyway.
Tony Robbins tells about how much he wanted to become a millionaire but once he actually achieved it, the thrill lasted for about ten minutes. After that, everything felt just the same as before. Yes, there are many millionaires who are happy. However, there are many who are as equally miserable. In fact, many of the latter would agree that their prime cause of sorrow is the money itself; fear of losing it, dissatisfaction at not being as rich as so-and-so who is worth ten times more, etc. The key point is that money itself is not the determiner of happiness and purpose. A correct state of mind IS.
Capturing our purpose is THE most important thing we can possibly do. It is not the work of a moment, an hour or even of a few days. It is an ongoing project that brings more riches each and every day. By doing this, we discover who we really are and why exactly we are here. The truth is that you are here for a purpose. You manifested into this life for a reason. So how do we go about discovering this purpose?
The first thing is simply to make time for yourself. Treat yourself as precious and important and find times to be alone in quiet reflection upon your life. Many people meditate to gain deeper insights about themselves. This is certainly immensely valuable. However, if you feel uncomfortable with meditation at this stage, then simply creating moments in the day when you can ponder and wonder can be deeply beneficial.
At several points in the day, try simply closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. Turn your attention inward and remember whatever it is you need to, and as you let your breath out exhale all your tension and concerns. David Kundtz, in his excellent book "Stopping", calls these brief moments in the day "Stillpoints". They are easier to do than meditation because they only take a few seconds. However, if you do about fifteen or so of these a day, it can make a tremendous difference to your inner calm and perspective on life.
You can also do what Kundtz calls "Stopovers". These are slightly longer breaks lasting from several minutes to several hours, where you take time to specifically do NOTHING. This is important. There is no agenda. You simply give yourself time to BE. You listen to your body and what it has to say.
You listen to your inner intuition and gradually develop the ability to hear its valuable insights. You develop Openness and learn to by-pass the critical part inside you that undermines your efforts to follow your heart's desire with so-called "realistic" thinking. By giving yourself more time to simply be and experience your own "beingness" without preconditions, you gradually awaken to what your soul's purpose is, one step at a time.
Copyright 2000, Asoka Selvarajah. All Rights Reserved.
They're Here. They're Our Kids (view on a separate page) (more articles about aliens)
In the Spring of '94, I was taking a leisurely stroll around the block
when a 1+1/2 to 2 year old white-blond haired, fair skinned male child
ran up to the fence separating his house from the sidewalk. He skillfully
climbed the chain links to put himself as much at eye level with me as
The Real 'Flower Children': http://www.realnicehomes.com/inlight/thekids.html
Closing Words (view on a separate page)
"When the children of Montsegur came down from the pog
Time has passed, the children have grown with great hope
- Era (was playing at the background when the Opening Words were written)