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Opening Words: Negativity


Author: Alexander Aldarow    (all articles by this author)
Published on: November 30, 2000

It's: Negativity. Suppressive forces. Dark side. Evil.

Its nature: Hostile spiritual entities. Archetypes within collective consciousness. Patterns within our mind. Obstacles our soul chooses to overcome prior to re-entering another reincarnation. Just a type of a world perspective.

How to deal with it: Fight. Love. Resist. Succumb. Ignore. Let God/Universe/fate decide. They are here for us to learn more about ourselves. They are part of the cosmic balance. They are here for us to grow by fighting them.

No, I'm not revivifying another typical discussion about the nature and the necessity of evil. It's just... well, recently I have less let people inside my soul. And, after all, this is a Project X Newsletter, one of its purposes is to inform about us, Project X, especially its founders. So here it goes.

I believe it is mentioned on the pages of our website (see the URLs at the bottom of this edition) that at the beginning of Rinor's and my mutual process of spiritual development, guided by cosmic messages, we had to go through different distinct stages/levels, each stage distinguished by the type of beings we've encountered (angels, spirits, demons, aliens), by conclusions we had to reach, by the way that our Temple appeared. No one could proceed into a particular level until the other has reached it.

Nonetheless...

Each time we were at the threshold of a level, a dream would occur to me, its purpose to prevent my progress. Not quite a dream, actually, more like a nocturnal "experience", in which I would be attacked by demons and evil spirits, threats to hurt me, my family, my beloved ones would be emitted, an attempt to frighten or choke me would occur. Whenever me and Rinor were heading to, the negative powers did not want me to proceed. And, in those dreams, my dreaming self would agree with the evil apparitions, would take a vow to never "deal with the paranormal" anymore. However, each time, when the rooster called and the morning light came, I would wake up and wonder why, on Earth, I've reached such a decision. Because, looking at the event rationally, thinking of all the exciting possibilities lying ahead of us, I wouldn't give up on them just because of some threat.

And so I continued...

There were other dreams, dreams in which I faced a choice, a dream were I was surrounded by New Age people, and then men in Nazi uniforms came in, one offering me a silver skull sign.; a dream where I went to Heaven and to Hell, and in Hell I was told to sacrifice five people. The spiritual development, however, was continuing, and, although the choice wasn't made consciously, the fact that I was heading on to one direction was undeniable. So, on the night of January 17, 1999, the showdown took place. It's also described in details on our webpages as The Experience. The bottom line of that night was - I faced Satan, and he was intending to destroy me, no matter what... and yet, he couldn't. So, with a huge effort, I drove him out of myself. The final choice was made.

The tactics against me changed. Seeing a failure of psychic attacks, as I've eventually become completely immune to any supernatural negative influence, a laughable attempt of "temptation" was made to me. When I visited my father in United States, a hidden hint of "give up on all THAT, and you will have wealth, friends, women, cars" was made by him. I know, I know, it does sound funny, like Darth Vader saying: "Join me... Join the dark side, Luke... I'm your father!" Of course, this perhaps was the easiest of all tests.

The saga doesn't stop there. I went through a rough period when I started my University studies. It was then that getting knowing the Kabbalistic approach ("control your reality!") saved me from a total self-nullification. And one day, by the end of October 1999, The Realization has descended upon me. I was free. I was free!!! The Karma was canceled, the debts were paid, the freedom was achieved. A huge burden fell from my shoulder, and my mind became crystal clear, calm and solid.

Spiritual freedom.

From now and on, whatever problems I was facing were only created by myself. And, yes, there were still problems. Different people were sent to infiltrate Project X under masks of pretended benevolence, trying to both convert Project X into the field of their private agenda and plant doubts within me, doubts about how real my achievements so far are. With time, I've learnt to recognize such.

Two weeks ago...

I let myself drift into the worst occurrence I had to face lately. I let negative thinking inside my head, and was drowned by irrational negative thoughts. It was like the familiar Alex was wiped out completely, in a brink of a second, and voices crawled inside of me. Yes, I know, I was thinking all these things myself, my voice was repeating those words, but if an outsider could have heard them, it would have appeared like a scenario of a horror movie about a possession. Voices, saying over and over again, "Everything dies, everything rots and crumbles, there is no hope, there is no justice, kill them all, kill yourself, time to die." Depression, darkness, death, the 3 D's.

I am not proud of myself, of the way I handled my mind back then. There is no excuse for me. Whether the suppressors are external forces or thought patterns within us, I let them emerge and take over of the place. There were only two things during those hellish couple of days that make me think that there is a hope even for me.

I KNEW that it all will eventually pass (and it has, as it is evident today).

I KNEW, logically, mentally and also somewhere at the bottom of my heart and soul, that it's all not true. Whatever the voices in my head were telling, could be easily disapproved. I saw the falsity in THAT approach.

And now I'll let my dear friend OSix speak on this issue:

"...For I still believe that if a group is not fighting suppression, whether that suppression is spiritual, physical or both, then that group is not achieving a worthwhile aim.

Now suppression comes in many different forms: farmers fight suppression in the form of drought, insects, profit/loss, weather, etc.... and they win and we all benefit from their daily struggle. Doctors fight suppression in the form of disease, injuries, death, etc.... and we all benefit from their daily fight. I know that you live under constant threat of attack everyday and if it were not for suppression fighters, you would not be able to live in Israel. My forefathers, as well, fought suppression with tremendous personal sacrifices and death so that their Posterity could live in relative freedom and safety.

Just as there is physical suppression, I also believe, with certainty from my point of view, that there is spiritual suppression. I also believe that spiritual suppression can manifest into physical suppression. Though it is almost certain that physical suppression must be defeated with bloodshed, spiritual suppression can be defeated by freeing oneself from it (with the help of allies). 'Freedom from', but one must also have a 'freedom to'. Freedom from 'what' to 'what'? 'Freedom to' a cause or mission. And one must be able to know the differences between actual (true) spiritual freedom, where one has been freed or where one is in the process of truly freeing oneself from spiritual suppression, and apparent (false) spiritual freedom, where one acquiesces by appeasing to spiritual evil... whereby spiritual evil calls a 'cease fire', so to speak. Many beings believe that they have defeated or freed ones self from spiritual evil, when in actuality, they have merely acquiesced to spiritual evil.

What a 'coincidence' that many of us at P-X (and elsewhere), over the past year, experienced point of view changes. I experienced a p.o.v. change regarding my body, other human bodies, and how I should use my earthtime (concerns, activities, causes, study, use of my time, etc.)

Another similarity is that we both believe that it is time to turn correct on-purpose ideology, into correct on-purpose action. And my current mission training is aimed in that direction, as 'directions' that were given to me 2 or 3 years ago, via my spiritual contact, are beginning to manifest.

Directions that, at the time, I did not understand the content of, nor did I understand for what purpose. I now understand that these mission training directions are the elements that are contained within the "Conditions of Potential" that were given to me in 1994 by my spiritual contact, and that I was directed to list on my homepage for potential Consorts (consorts = to come together by fate) to read.

I just wanted to let you know, or remind you, of my point of view.

If you need my point of view, then let me know.

See you in the future,

OSix"

There is something else that OSix has told me, which put a great deal of light on the things I've described several passages earlier. He said that, if someone is being attacked, being stopped, it means that the person is doing something right. Therefore, 'they' failed not only by the fact that I overcame 'them', but also by the fact that they showed me that I was heading in a right direction. My enemies, whoever they are, whatever their origin is, have, eventually, reassured me, in their twisted, indirect way, that I was making right decisions about my life.

The necessity of 'evil'.

If I'm allowed to change the tone and the topic, I'd like to invite you all to visit this brand new site, by our beloved Lady Tia. It is the dream dictionary and interpretation board site. The address is http://www.angelfire.com/electronic/cymorilm/dream/dreami.html.

Originally published in Project X Newsletter #49

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