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Project X Newsletter Expanded, issue #73

May 5, 2002

1. Opening Words - Your Higher Self - Jeannie Weyrick
2. Visitors From Tomorrow - Part Six - Mark Andrews
3. Visual Ray Psionics - Randolph Fabian Directo
4. The Sanctuary of The Lamb - Brenda May Grubb
5. Being - Cassie Zievers

Opening Words - Your Higher Self    (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
Author: Jeannie Weyrick    (all articles by this author)

Archangel Raphael
through Jeannie Weyrick

Your Higher Self is the being that you are outside of your physical lives. Each person on Earth is a part of, and has come here from, a non-physical spiritual being. When a spiritual being decides to experience the Earth as a part of its growth, they place a part of their consciousness here to experience as many Earth lives as are needed to accomplish their goals. When they are finished with their physical life cycle, the part of their consciousness that was here will be reunited.

Before coming to the Earth the Higher Self outlines goals and lessons that they would like to accomplish and learn while here. They lay out a basic blueprint and once they are here they fill in all of the details as each life is lived. The blueprint usually remains the same, but depending on what is accomplished in each life the lessons and experiences wished for can be shifted to other incarnations to accommodate what actually takes place in each lifetime.

So you are a portion, an aspect, of a spiritual being. The part of them that is experiencing this Earth life through the physical vehicle that you think of as you.

Your Higher Self is very aware of you (themselves) while you are here, even if you are not very aware of them. They help set up circumstances in your life to help you and guide you for the accomplishment of your/their goals.

If you are more aware of them, they can have a much easier time helping you with situations and choices in your life. You are an independent portion of their consciousness with complete free will. If you are aware of them, and can work more consciously with them, and have the intention of living from your higher consciousness as much as possible, you have the advantage of living your life with their expanded help and guidance to accomplish these goals.

Your Higher Self can help you to a much larger degree if you see yourself as an extension of them and work as a team - as one with them.

During this time of ascension, you can start the process of being reunited consciously with your Higher Self now. That is part of what the ascension is all about.

When you are living in a state of expanded conscious connection with your Higher Self, you can have much more conscious control over your life, and certainly be able to deal with and understand it much easier.

When you are connected to the wisdom, understanding, and love of your Higher Self, it is much easier to help yourself and others achieve a greater sense of peace and self-worth. When more people learn to make this connection, the troubles of this world can be greatly alleviated. It is our hope that each and every person on the Earth will eventually be able to live in this expanded state of Higher Self awareness and connection. When that is accomplished, then the Earth can become the beautiful and enlightened Planet that it was always meant to be.

My best wishes on your spiritual journey.

For more information please see our book: Ascension: The Doorway Home, By Jeannie Weyrick & Richard (Dito) Putman
(Channeled messages by Archangel Raphael, St. Germain, Ashtar and Sananda)

Excerpted from The Circle Of Light Newsletter
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Visitors From Tomorrow - Part Six    (view on a separate page) (more articles about aliens)
Author: Mark Andrews    (all articles by this author)

Personal Encounters With Time Travelers

Part Six: Final Installment

(c) 2002 Mark Andrews

By 1991, my life had so well settled into a (relatively) normal flow that the "weirdness" that had begun with that phone call from George Biro on the evening of April 17, 1978, was not much more than a head-scratching curiosity.
All that I was able to retain from it (at that point) was that George Biro, some guy named "Fred", I, and several other people would be traveling back in time to the year 1978 from sometime in the 21st Century. The purpose for this temporal excursion remained without even a theory.
George, mean while, joined the U.S. Marine Corps, married, and has two children. He was always "reachable" one way or another. That other guy "Fred" seemed to have been amiss when he so "laughingly" eluded that I would indeed see him after our "all nighter" at the Waffle House and into my basement apartment on Garfield Dr..
I was renting a half-duplex on Applegate St. in 1991. I was employed by the Indianapolis Public Schools as a one-on-one classroom assistant for a quadriplegic gun shot victim named Bobby. He was a real "hero", whose only desire in life was to improve the lives of others.
In the course of my duties with Bobby, I would daily escort him to the computer room where he would practice using his head set and mouth stick to operate the computer key boards.
Another daily visitor to the computer room was Robbie. In the course of our regular conversations, we realized that he and I were neighbors and that he shared my interest in UFO's. Robbie asked if he could come to visit me and bring his friend Mike to see some of my UFO related video tapes.
Robbie and Mike became frequent visitors to my home.
Then Mike began coming without Robbie and bringing his friend T.J..
T.J. and I struck up a friendship that continues to this day (1-15-02).
When Bobby graduated in 1994, I quit my job with IPS to begin working at the Indianapolis Star / News warehouse; delivering several routes of weekly free "add" papers. This put quite a strain on my brakes, so T.J. offered to ask his Uncle Freddy (then 20 years old) if he would be willing to take on my car's condition as an on-going project. Freddy consented, and I would find myself taking my grinding brake disorders to the garage attached to Freddy's house.
Freddy never asked a dime for replacing my brake pads!
He was a very somber guy who carried a host of anxieties centered around his marriage and children. In all of the many years that Freddy would work on my brakes, I rarely saw more than a "hint" of a smile on his face.
He was always clean shaven and kept a very close hair cut. Freddy didn't say much, and asked nothing of me for his services. He enjoyed doing the work, and wanted to see to it that my cars were always in safe condition. It was a focus on his part that I found a little hard to understand, but I was extremely grateful for Freddy's kindness.
As the years went along, Freddy began to trust me and open up to me about all of the many burdens that he quietly carried.
Every so often, he would stop by my home (present location since 1994) and share his feelings. He is a very private individual. I considered it an honor to have Freddy trust me with his deepest concerns.
Though still (by 2000) not much in the way of a fixed smile.
With the approach of the New (beginning of The Millennium) Year, 2001, I felt a deep need to spend New Year's Eve at home, and to mark the moment of the beginning of the next thousand years in a state of prayer and meditation.
I had purchased a set of white candles for just the occasion. At the moment of the New Year, 1/1/01, I lit the largest of the candles and regarded it as the first flame of "the new millennium". I then played a video taped meditation by a local psychic that I had recorded from her weekly TV show.
I asked that my path of service to God and creation be made clear to me that night; to be kept as a beacon for the next thousand years. At 12:20, there was a knock at the door.
He told me that he had just been passing by the neighborhood and got a sudden "flash" that he should drop in and wish me a Happy New Year.
Freddy (now divorced) stayed for a short while and then left to pick up his kids for their coming visit. Before he left, he mentioned that he would be turning 27 years old in the new month. That was when I decided that I was going to do something really nice for Freddy's birthday, in a way of acknowledging all of his kindness to me over the years.
In the next couple of weeks I scouted high and low for that perfect gift for Freddy. That would be a model '64 Ford Mustang. He has always been a "Ford" man. I finally located one at a hobby shop fairly close to my home. It was a very big, bright, yellow '64 Mustang. Perfect!
Before he had left on New Year's, I had told Freddy to be sure to stop by on his birthday; and 17 days later, he did.
In the course of that time, Freddy had become interested in a new young lady who encouraged him to let his hair grow, and to allow his facial hair to show. A much different looking Freddy came to my home on January 18. I was so excited with the gift that I had found for him that I didn't bother to wrap it properly, and just went to grab it from under the kitchen table.
As I turned to hand the model to Fred (what YOU have known now for quite a while) FINALLY dawned on me.
The sight of the '64 Ford Mustang brought a smile to Freddy's (hairy) face that I hadn't seen since ......... the Waffle House in 1978.

"Oh.... My.... God", I froze. ""Freddy" is "Future Fred" from the Waffle House!" (23 years earlier).
Don't ask me how, but thus far I have managed to keep this secret from Fred ever since his last birthday.

And just WHY did Freddy, George, and I make that backwards time trip (2018 - 1978 / with the assistance of our planet's Sirian mentors ?)

If there's one simple message that endures it's that "Life goes on!" We are now about to confront the passage of Planet "X" (Nibiru) with the projected accompanying earth-changes. Then we will be faced with the fulfillment of the 12-21-2012 prophecies of the Maya and many other cultures.
There will be much in our collective future that will tempt us to become anxious and fearful.

Perhaps so.

But as I remember the broad, spontaneous smile on the face of my "future friend", Fred, as he walked into the Waffle House that early Thursday A.M. (and knowing how very little he smiled BEFORE the year 2018) I would have to say that our future will eventually be a pretty wonderful place to be.
As of today, I still enjoy talking with Fred and (just for fun) throwing back to him that same mysterious smile that he gave to me on the night of our meeting in 1978.
For now, I'm the one who's in the position of "keeper of the secret".

So, right back at'cha, "FUTURE BOY!"

Happy 28th Birthday, Freddy Dale Alltop!
January 18, 2002

The Journey has only begun..............


(And, to continue the theme of time travelling:)

A poem inspired by the film, "The Time Machine", 2002.


( c ) 2002 Mark Andrews

Your eyes keep the secret
in their soft auric glow.
Is it laughter or sorrow
that you've come to bestow?

Through time's rippling currents
you came back to re-do
some mission / some purpose
that connects me with you.

Your words are elusive,
your actions; unclear.
But your heart leaves
no question that it's me
you hold dear.

How will it all happen?
What steps must I take?
Are we Destiny's chosen?
Are we lovers by fate?

Your past is my future.
On some tomorrow I'll see;
- -beyond suns yet unrisen- -
how you came to love me.

Visual Ray Psionics    (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
Author: Randolph Fabian Directo    (all articles by this author)

Visual Ray Psionics: Theory and Practice, part 1 of 4

The "Shroud of Concealment" of the Golden Dawn Order, the "Cloud" of Apollonius of Tyana, the alchemical sulphur of the Rosicrucian Order, the "Shadows" of the Qabalah, to name a few are based upon visual ray psionics.

Everyday, unknowingly, people are applying this natural ability to create synchronicity of events. In the case of an idealistic person, "good luck" and simply being at the right place at the right time may have brought him fortune. In the case of a cynical person, "bad luck" may be a constant part of his life as a "cloud" of despair follows him.

Overall, one might say that there is a "cloud" of mistrust and belligerence looming over this planet considering the recent and on going events. There are also "clouds" of hatred and spiritual vampirism that roam freely.

These clouds are "thought-forms" created through visual ray psionics. Unwittingly, people, everyday through their prayers, fantasies, and lamentations, create and fortify their own thought-forms and they wonder at the mystery of how and why a certain bad or good thing took place at a crucial moment.

Thought-forms can take years to form and years to perish. Sometimes they never dissipate. They can be strong enough to be mistaken for "ghosts" and "demons" – even ethereal "space critters." Thought-forms are manifestations of ourselves through visual ray psionics.

Before we proceed with the theory of the visual ray I would like the readers to get an objective feel for what is being projected from the human eye.

Seeing for the living human is a function of his/her etheric forces. The mechanical conception of sight is not sufficient consider this radiation that extends from the eye.

Experiment 1) You may be familiar with "bioplasmic glue" that you can form between your hands procedure. If not, just sit, relaxed, with palms facing together in front of you. Slowly, oscillate the palms together until you feel the slight, liquid force between the palms. (Even modern day hippies know this one. I've asked them.) Relax your hands at a distance where you feel the force is strongest. Slowly glance back and forth between your palms. You may immediately feel a gossamer brushing between them in accordance with your glancing.

Experiment 2) Lie quietly in a darkened room. Shut off all distracting sounds, electronic or otherwise. Allow yourself to become accustomed to the environment. You are trying to bring into function your awareness of faculties and endowments of your organism that have been beaten down by the daily assault of civilized living.

Give the grander realities a chance to live in you and show their wonders. (Just don't fall asleep because it's dark.)

Hold your hands in front of you with palms facing you. The visual ray is a subtle beam of energy that leaves your eyes like a radar beam. Swing your eyes back and forth across the place in the dark where your hands are. Do it slowly, carefully, persistently. Extend your touch out through the visual ray. Unless you are an especially insensitive individual, or one determined NOT to succeed, you will, after time, feel the gentle passage of the visual ray across your hands. You will finds its gossamer subtlety (almost like the lightest edges of a feather brushing across your hands) a new experience in feeling – or an old one if you're used to dealing in this realm.

Persist, and your sensitivity will improve. Shift your sensitivity of touch into the visual ray and send it out into the darkened room to feel all kinds of protuberances from your appliances, furniture, or the limits of your room. If there is a venetian shade in the room, run the visual ray up and down over the slats. Once you have developed touch sensitivity through the visual ray, the effect is akin to running the teeth of a comb over your fingertips, but immeasurably more subtle. With practice you will even be able to measure distance, even if the object is hundreds of miles away. (Celestial bodies are a different story. There's all sorts of energy in the atmosphere to contend with.)

{Paper forms directly responsive to the visual ray are contained in John P. Boyle's "The Psionic Generator Pattern Book" published by Prentice Hall. This book will significantly assist private researchers in this field.}

Experiment 3) This direct proof is overwhelming. Once again, you do your proving by objectively seeing and experiencing the phenomenon for yourself. The difference is, in this experiment, others can also see the results. You man dissipate clouds with your visual ray by following a simple procedure. Do not attempt short cuts, variants or modifications until you have performed exactly in accordance with these requirements:

1-Choose a day when you have numbers of small, discrete clouds that are approximately the same size.

2-Select one cloud to be dissipated. Have a friend take a Polaroid photograph of the scene and mark your selected cloud before you begin dissipating it.

3-Resolve, inwardly, that you are going to dissipate that cloud, drawing the energy down your visual ray into yourself.

4-Concentrate on the cloud and slice your visual ray back and forth across it – then drill into it. Slice back and forth – then bore some more.

5-Within five minutes the cloud will have begun to disperse after clearly having lost cohesion. Surrounding clouds of comparable size to the selected cloud remain, essentially, whole. A friend with a Polaroid will objectify it all for you.

6-Concentration upon fragmenting portions of the cloud will secure their final dispersal.

The most important thing to bear in mind when attempting this for the first time is that there is always a delay between the application of the bioenergetic stimulus of the visual ray and the manifestation of gross physical efforts such as the visible dissolution of the cloud. In essence, ethereal science doesn't happen like a "gun shot" and mechanistic skeptics may argue against this time lag. Allow for this inherent bioenergetic delay. You are no longer dealing with mechanical things in a mechanical fashion. You are entering the realm of the living.

You will find that your whole ocular apparatus becomes strongly stimulated by visual ray cloudbusting. This stimulation is due to the {orgone, vril, akasa, you name it} energy that binds the moisture in the cloud being drawn down your visual ray into your organism in accordance with the Law of Reverse Orgone Potential. For the moment, you also know that you can produce tremendous physical effects at a distance.

If you have absorbed too much energy, then you will feel dizzy, your head may feel stuffy, and/or your face may start to turn purple. If this happens, you get rid of the excess by taking a shower or urinating as you, willfully, let go of the excess energy. (The sexual function is a possibility for the males to let go of excess energy, but proceeding immediately to sexual intercourse with the above side effects may be prohibitive.)

Experiment 4) Another convincing proof of the visual ray as a bioenergetic emanation from the human being is to observe, carefully, your reactions and sensations when you see an image in a fun house distorting mirror – or look at the world through glass that has been physically bent at a sharp angle (like someone else's strong prescription lenses).

A sharp sensation of strain communicates itself to the organism as a result of the bending of the visual ray.

This inner sensation of discomfort, sometimes of pain, has nothing whatever to do with viewing a distorted image as such. Study a photograph of an image from a distorted mirror. This does not produce the sensation of inner discomfort that arises from being present, physically, therefore, involved bioenergetically in the actual distortion process. Careful self-observation is an important part of this work.

The mechanist always likens the human eye to a fine camera. Unfortunately, he is even wrong on that count. Since the eye, itself, is an extremely poor instrument of focus we must consider the images that are bioenergetically receiving in the brain as the real system of focus. To this we now add that from what we have experienced, we know that the eye, with its visual ray, also closely resembles a radar set. This is how we intend to use our eyes, empirically.

In the next section we will learn the theories behind the driving force of the visual ray and its role in psionics.

The Sanctuary of The Lamb    (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
Author: Brenda May Grubb    (all articles by this author)

30th March 02 (c) Brenda May Grubb

'Surely the soul's progress at this time could produce a greater amount of pure energy than it is doing.

When the spirit of love meets the spirit of conflict, it is then that the ‘great race’ is on. For the spirit of Love and the spirit of conflict creates a due matter of right against wrong.
Who is right and who is wrong? This question has been posed through the ages, this question of whether it's right or it's wrong has constantly vexed all the sages.
I could say it's right, but daresay it's wrong. Then I am only one little cog; this problem of; if; whether; supposing, the result is only solved by our God.

Who is our God we ask, for we are He, although in part. That God within each one creates a ‘quiver’ in the sum of us. We argue, and plead and become quite aggrieved.

That part of us, which is God in us can beat and overcome what is the rest of us.

At the end of Life's Glory, shall this be the story: - that man in His wisdom says God gave him ‘Life Rare’. Then when it suits the convenience for man to intervene, he'll say, “There is no God, there is only us, who have survived through our own desire, not anther's”

“There is no God, just us, who are divided and torn twixt belief and dispute”.

Then will Life's Glory once more, become the main story – they will turn to The Christ. Till then they will quarrel; giving the sorrow; all alone will survive will be those who have returned once more to the power and the truth they once tossed to the ground; when through Faith round the cross they are found.

“Trust in yourself, because within yourself is the only way forward for anyone of you who would read this little message given here.

There are so very many who would, and do attempt to con the people into becoming dependent on an outside influence. Whether it's on the physical plane, or within the other dimensions around the earth.

The only true journey comes within the structure of the true self, and this is truly intertwined with the entire structure of existence.

Once this awareness comes upon the consciousness then will the illusions of life become as shattered pieces of glass, broken from their former condition held in place by mere thought.

Once an essence of existence (no matter how minute), can become free from the thought, which moulds. It is then free to form yet another structure with which to do battle with structures yet ’alien’ unto itself.

Without a structure created by thought that essence would be merely in existence with neither rhyme nor reason, at least as far as this universe is concern. However, working alongside a universe there are so very many more, which are yet, ’undiscovered’.

Is there a Christ Consciousness within each, and every universe, or is it confined to just this one? “In My Fathers House There are Many Mansions”; this does suggest that, yes, indeed, The Christ is omnipresent throughout existence – as and when we have need of Him. We call upon Him whenever we are in great need. When we feel the need of a Mother/Father figure, they are indeed provided for us, each and everyone.

However, it is also the case that when we feel secure enough to ‘go it alone’, there can be brought forward plenty of justification for there not being a Higher form of being to which we need to revert back to all of the time.

It does seem we can prove the case either way, depending upon the majority vote, i.e.: - ‘if the “mass consciousness” is all agreeing to there indeed being a God, then there will indeed be a God. In the same way, should the “mass consciousness” decide through whatever means to prove that all food should be ‘genetically modified, then indeed all food will definitely become genetically modified. However, to get the majority vote on this will take some doing. Should it be in the interests of a good many, then rest assured it will take place, as long as it is carried out in silence, and the majority are given many ‘toys’ to play with and therefore are kept extremely busy, they will not notice, until it is too late.

Will there be enough “mass consciousness” which will realize these happenings and turn to the essence of itself which contains The Christ Consciousness, or other such belief in order to create the necessary power to prevent these occurrences, for make no mistake, we are dealing with pure energies a the very base line. All and Everything is Pure Energy. One energy will not attack another energy, as it will not wish to become involved, preferring to keep to itself.

Only those who operate on the same energy level will want to reign supreme over that energy, are they who will fight over anything. For example, two lions over a piece of meat. Would a lion and a giraffe fight over a piece of meat? They are not on the same energy level, both have different diets and life styles. This is so throughout Life, no matter what form.

Once all energies are indeed working correctly, then can life expand in the way originally intended; the world of matter will grow into other universes, or, will it “implode” upon itself as in ‘black hole theory’?

As yet, no one has been through a black hole and returned, neither has anyone ‘died’ and of their own volition returned into their deceased body. Is there a correlation here, one wonders. Are ‘black holes/worm holes and hurricanes/typhoons relative to each other, do they relate to the spinning chakra system of the human body? My immediate reaction is to shout YES!! Of course, it all relates, and so it should. This does mean that all are part of the whole structure of life and considered as such.

Each one of us needs to reach into the pure essence of ourselves in order to prove once and for all the Truth to the reason for our existence within this particular dimension.

Mysteries upon mysteries to be unraveled. As soon as one puzzle is solved, then will another puzzle appear, this will be so, until we have exhausted all structures. Then will another ‘Big-Bang’ become ‘necessary’.

The grandest and the most glorious journey you will ever undertake will be one of strange adventure, going where no one else has gone before on quite the same route.

It will always begin as soon as you have learned to still the mind, then take a few slow, but deep breaths. This journey is indescribable to you from an external outside influence, for it will be unique. Each one will indeed travel the same path, but will view it differently. Were I to describe my journey to you, it would never be as remarkable as the one you would undertake.

The journey taken will soon prove to take you to the outer/inner reaches of existence. You are the complete representation of the entirety of existence as it is right now. At the moment of writing this, once it has been completed, the journey will have advanced yet another step forward.

This process will not end once the physical body stops breathing. Consciousness is in existence for as long as that consciousness wishes, and is in fact eternal.

That is not to say that somewhere and at sometime there will not be found another yet untapped universe. We only know a small percentage of our human brain is in active state at this time, and as soon as we can fully activate its dimensions the sooner we can travel into different time dimensions at will, with complete and utter ease and no one will think it strange or incomprehensible. Our present day mediums are only just opening the first few doors.

Each one of us can and will bring through into their own individual consciousness all of the answers to all of the questions which are even now being asked; and those which are yet to be asked, but further more all have answers to those as yet unformed by thought questions – and questions as yet to come... Ad-infinitum. ‘Eternal is and Eternal Ever shall be’. This way, and only by this method can the universe be said to expand. “We create our own future”.

Being    (view on a separate page) (more articles about else)
Author: Cassie Zievers    (all articles by this author)

[A follow-up to On Being Human -]

 It was April of 2001, the time of year when I should have been going on my vision quest, but this time, I would not be. I had just been diagnosed with a heart defect that had been present from birth and had gone undetected until now, that required surgery to repair it. I had had increasing difficulty with anything remotely resembling exercise, even a walk into the forest at this point, would have been difficult. I thought it best not to try it this time. As my friend, Otter, had once pointed out, we can have visions anytime, with or without the usual preparation of fasting and wandering in the woods. Despite knowing this, I found myself sad, depressed that I would not be going through the traditional vision quest the way I always had.

 The surgery was now just a few weeks away. It would require that my body be cooled to minimize the possibility of brain damage and my heart be stopped to repair the defect. Despite the nature of the surgery, what I knew must be done to repair my heart, I was not afraid. Though it meant my temporary death, I found myself strangely at peace with the whole idea. Part of it was a deep trust in the surgeon I would have repairing my heart. Through a number of strange coincidences, I found myself led to him. Dr. Albert Starr, this was the man with the skill to not only fix my heart, but bring me back. But there was something more to this lack of fear, something deeper.

 For many years I had remembered my death from my last life. I remembered much about that life, what my life purpose had been, the fact that I had determined before being born into that life, how I would live, who my parents would be, what my lessons would be and even how and when I would die. It had all come flooding back to me rather spontaneously years before, when I was strangely led through the events leading up to my death then and my death itself, and what happened afterward.

 I had been born into a Native American tribe on a reservation somewhere on the Northeast Coast. My father had been the healer for our people and I was the one who would follow in his footsteps and take on that responsibility later in my life. I was in my early 20s when I met him. Though I don't remember the circumstances of how we met, I know that we had been together before. I recognized him. He was not from our tribe. He was not from any tribe. He was a white man. Our people had suffered much and there was much distrust of white people. It seemed I was the only one who could see beyond the color of his skin.

 The lesson could have gone either of two ways. I could have brought him home to live with us on the reservation as my husband and our people would have had the opportunity to learn to look beyond skin color to what is real or I could go with him and abdicate my responsibility to my people. I chose the more painful road. While my family grieved my loss, I moved with my husband off the reservation to somewhere west of there, near the Great Lakes.

 It happened one day when I was driving through a city I did not know very well, trying to find my way home. I had only that one thought in my mind, to get home to my husband. Nothing in the world was more important to me in that moment. While I was distracted, trying desperately to find my way through the maze of city streets, it happened. My car was hit in the driver's side by another car I never saw. I found myself wandering around in the street, thinking hard “How would I get home now?” My car was beyond repair and completely undriveable, yet I hadn't even bothered to look back. I found myself near a bus stop, so I waited there with a few people and got on the bus that came along. The driver didn't see me as I stepped up and onto the bus. I found that rather odd at the time, but then, I wasn't white. I was living in the white world and I was sometimes ignored. I walked back down the aisle to find a seat and no one saw me. This was getting to be beyond strange. As I was puzzling over this, a spirit entered through the back of the bus and told me it was time for me to go now.

 “No,” I said, “you are mistaken. I’m not dead, and I’m going home to my husband.”
 “Then why is it that no one here sees you?”, the spirit asked.
 “I don’t know, maybe they have much on their minds and can’t be bothered.”, I responded.
 “You know better than that,” she argued.

 In that moment I saw my existence before that life. I saw all the decisions I had made from what parents I would have to what my life lessons would be, even to how I would die. I saw the accident that had been preordained by me. I looked back to the spirit to argue further.

 “But that was not to be THIS accident... not now!”, I argued feebly. The truth had sunk in.

 Now, April of 2001, a few weeks away from the surgery that would give me my life back by temporarily taking it away, I was unafraid. Early one evening I decided to lie down and take a nap. I had no sooner gotten comfortable in bed than it happened. I found myself wandering in a forest, in a place I had never seen before. I came to a bit of a clearing and there I heard a voice. “Take this map and follow the directions on it implicitly,” it said. There before me, seemingly suspended in mid air was a map of the area I now walked in. It was not like a map with towns and freeways shown on it, it was more like a topographical map, a survey map. It showed the characteristics of the land I was on, where the rivers and streams were, where the hills and mountains were, where the ocean was. I recognized the details of the map from the route I had traveled thus far. Yet there was nothing written on the map.

  I took the map, somehow knowing that the directions “on the map” would come from within. At each point along the way, I walked and listened. I followed the directions that came at each point along the way, noting curiously, that there was no other life in this forest, aside from the plants. There were no birds, there were no animals of any kind, not another living being aside from me, the trees, plants, and this voice.

 Eventually I came to the edge of the land, where it met the ocean. I looked out over the vast greenish blue expanse before me and heard the voice again, “Dive!” was all it said. Standing at the edge of the land, I then dropped the map, diving through it and down into the water. I kept diving downward, knowing full well I would be told when to stop. As I kept going down deeper and deeper, the thought crossed my mind. “I have done no preparation for this, I have no scuba equipment, no way to breathe, nothing to protect me from the massive weight of all the water above me. I will most surely die here.” It was nothing more than a passing thought. It carried no real significance to me. It was merely an observation. It was at this point that the voice spoke again. “You may return to the surface now.”

  I found myself ascending rapidly through the water, yet it seemed to take quite a bit of time. As I did, the light from the surface grew ever brighter along the way until I emerged from the water suddenly aware it was alive. I was a living being, ascending through a living being that supported me along the way. As the light touched my face I was aware that everything was alive and all there is is life.

 I found myself again in my bed, full of the most extraordinary energy, I could not even think of sleeping at this point. I had to tell someone about this. It had all been SO surreal! It felt more real than every day waking “reality”.  I called my boyfriend. He would understand. Somehow I knew that I had passed some test.

 I have heard the argument in support of fear made by those who are so deeply entrenched in believing in the world of appearances. Fear causes us to be cautious and not do something stupid that might result in our death. Fear is a useful thing. It helps keep us alive. The people who usually expound on the virtues of fear are generally those who wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and believe they are what they see.

 Part of this perception necessarily includes the belief that by virtue of the fact that we have bodies, we are separate from God. If you read On Being Human and understand the holographic model, you are already beginning to glimpse the truth of the matter. Our bodies are nothing more than what we put on to experience life in a physical environment, this Earth school that we create.

 Perhaps it is time to ask the question. What is real? Love is real. Compassion is real. Fear is a stumbling block to experiencing these things. Fear keeps us locked in the belief that we can be harmed. Fear keeps us entrenched in our apparent individuality. Fear tells us that there is us and there is them. They are what we are not. Therefore they are out to get us. They are the enemy. We must get them before they get us. Or the ever popular, I must hurt him before he has the chance to hurt me. Does any of this sound familiar?

 Fear tells us “there is not enough to sustain us all”. Fear limits us. It keeps us believing that we are islands unto ourselves, separate, distinct, drifting further and further from the truth. That truth is that we have bought and perpetuate a lie. The truth is that nothing is separate from us, there is nothing we can see that is not alive. Everything is sacred. And when the bodies we wear in life apparently die, they continue to give life. They nurture the Earth in the way they were meant to, as part of the divine process of life eternally springing from life and even apparent death. Do we mourn the shirt we cast off when it has become old and tattered? Many of us tend to think of ourselves as human beings who may occasionally have a spiritual experience, but I would argue that the opposite is the truth. We are spiritual beings having a human experience and what we learn from this when we look beyond the apparent borders, when we have the courage to look beyond appearances and look into the heart of truth is that we are limitless beings. We are love. We are compassion. The degree to which we cannot see this, the degree to which we continue to participate in this illusion is the degree to which we see ourselves as separate from God. This is the degree to which we can cause suffering in the world.

 We were not banished from Heaven, we banished Heaven from us by simply believing we are separate from it, from God, from life and from each other. Heaven has always been here. It always will be. We simply make the choice to see it and wake up to knowing who and what we are. We are the eternal. We are love. We are light. We are life! We are part of God, and we are limitless being.

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