Project X Newsletter Expanded, issue #46October 13, 2000
1. Freedom in an Evolving Universe - Sister Hebe Quicksilver
Freedom in an Evolving Universe (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
The struggle for freedom is never over unless and until a person decides to quit struggling.
I am not speaking of struggle that is opposite to surrender - by no means. Acceptance of struggle is surrender. Just as a chick struggles to break the shell of the egg (armed with the only tooth it will ever possess) or as a butterfly struggles out of its chrysalis, we must struggle to scale the heights of relation, unaided.
Why unaided? Because, just as the chick is weakened if the shell is removed for it, and the butterfly is weakened by assistance, so are we. So the thing we struggle most to surrender to is the reality that it is only I who can choose to evolve, and it is only I who can choose to abandon my struggle for my liberty.
"Everyone has the right to believe and accept what they want, but reality doesn't discriminate. Reality is not different for different people. Not once has reality excused anyone for good intentions, ignorance or stubbornness. Reality shows no mercy, accepts no excuses, and issues no pardons. Reality does not "turn the other cheek." This does not mean that reality is cruel, it just means that reality is." - Floyd Maxwell
The discussion in my neck of the woods is about democracy. It seems that the powers that be have a test for our city: are we fit to govern ourselves? And this is the test: if we do not do all that is in our power to resist allowing a paternal state to demote our elected officials - the mayor, the city council, and even the school board - to the position of mere figureheads, we will forfeit our right to govern ourselves. The discussion is not, "You can't do that." They can, and they will if we don't stop them. The discussion is not, "Give us our freedom." They are not the ones who are the guardians of our local freedoms. We are. And if we abdicate, no matter how valid our excuse for doing so may seem to be, we have still abdicated our responsibility.
The discussion is also about proper education. Paraphrasing Helga Zepp-Larouche, we must consider that it would be good if the state took responsibility for excellence in education, so that the people would be equipped to govern themselves. But the state may not do that. It is our future, our children, our own lives that are made better through education, and ours that are limited by ignorance. In this world, then, it is only my solo effort to educate myself that will gain me the keys to the authority and power that comes from being educated.
That is the equality that all humans can claim. The right to do whatever is needed to solve their problems. That is the determiner of whether we are going to evolve or die.
The danger in growing past youth still looking for someone else to undertake to care for my basic needs (defined in the United States Constitution as Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness) is to guarantee that they will be not so well considered as they would be were I to assume the absolute responsibility (and with it the authority) for securing these needs. If, as a child, the culmination of my education is that I am adept in being responsible for my own life, my own liberty, and in the discovery of what it is that secures my happiness, then food, clothing and shelter will be acquired naturally as an outgrowth of reason and reasonable negotiation with other free beings. If not, then that becomes another thing that I am responsible to secure for myself, or I will suffer the consequences. This is decreed by reality. Pity would decree hand-outs, but dignity and divinity require self-determination.
Here where I am we have a paternal state speaking to what they think may be a developmentally retarded (child) municipality, saying, "You have two choices: either win this contest, or you will lose your right to govern yourself until you can wrest it back." It doesn't matter that we are saying to the parent, "You raised me to be this way." The parent says, "I may have. But if you want to make another decision than the one I make for you, you have to make it, you have to secure it, and you have to maintain it, independent of my whim. You know what I am willing to do for you. What price are you willing to pay to have other than that which I decree for you?"
For all of us, this is what our own past says to us. I am reminded of the story in the bible that tells of a crippled man who had set beside the pool of Bethesda for 15 years. He did so because from time to time an angel would come and trouble the waters, and the first one to reach the waters after that would be healed.
He told Jesus, "But I have no one to put me into the pool."
So Jesus asked him one simple question, "Do you want to be healed? Then get up and walk!"
Question - what was different from the time that Jesus walked into the room to the time when the man got up and walked out of his own volition? Obviously, even the power that Jesus had to heal was present before that moment. It was only a decision to avail himself of his life that gave that man his life. He was a new creature, no longer sold under sin (his and those who violated him), but free. All things were new.
And so we, as self-determining beings, no matter how wounded in the past, have this moment to take up our own sick bed and walk - if we really want to be healed. There is no other healer but our personal decision and commitment. We must evaluate what we hold most sacred - is it our past failures, or our present potential, our ability to choose wisely and determine our future? Do I uphold my sacred right to be crippled as result of the past, or my sacred ability to choose my course toward wholeness in the future?
This is a very hard decision - almost the hardest one in the universe for one who is used to being a victim to make. There is only one harder road: to continue to allow something other than my decision to be whole to determine my future.
That is the Judas road - and it leads to a traitor's end. The only difference between Judas and Peter, who also betrayed the Christ, is that Judas quit. But, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning." Peter stayed around until he was able to repent and be forgiven. He felt really bad, but he kept working, and the result? He earned the "keys to the kingdom." That's the rock upon which the real church is built - the truth. You will know the truth (that each new moment brings its own forgiveness with it if you will just do what is needed in this moment and not look back) and the truth shall make you free.
Broad is the gate and easy is the way that leads to destruction, and many choose it. But narrow is the gate and hard is the way that leads to life, and few find it. It is easy to be like minor children who cry out against a tyrant. It is a lie, though, to assume that we are not free to leave the tyrant's domain. It seems easier for a time to complain and complain and to beg and beg and to manipulate folks to throw the crumbs under the table to you like a little dog. But you will only reap what you have begged, not what you have chosen to build for yourself. That is your choice. But it is not the Royal Road.
Some say its better to be a live dog than a dead lion. I am not so sure. Instead, I will follow the advice of the old American Spiritual of slavery days that goes, "I done made my vow to the Lord, and I never shall turn back. I will go, I shall go, to see what the end will be."
Write me if you have feedback, or want to join my list, Hebe's Family (on Listbot). email@example.com
We are in for a bumpy ride the rest of this year - hang on! (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
Earth changes are taking place all over the globe. Earthquakes, tornados, floods, landslides, volcanic eruptions. There will be snow in areas where snow has not been seen before. New flood planes are being being developed. Mother Earth is reclaiming her territory. The rivers and streams are the veins of Mother Earth and they have been clogged with debris (man made dams and pollution), she is shaking them loose and where man has rerouted the rivers and streams she is bringing them back into their natural order. But remember no one is experiencing these things that did not sign on for this adventure. There are no accidents, there are no victims. There are only lessons and experiences.
This year so far has been a year of miracles, visions, wondrous signs of things to come, as well as many earth changes. But change is the name of the game. Changes are taking place on a cellular level as we are ascending into the next dimension. So as our physical body changes we are experiencing some health problems. As our mental bodies change some are experiencing temporary loss of short term memory. Walk into a room, "Now what did I come in here for?" Start a conversation and in the middle of it, "Now what was I talking about?" Don't worry your not getting senile, it is only temporary. As our emotional body changes we are releasing old pent-up emotions. We may cry for no reason at all. We may get angry and let off steam. As we change spiritually we may start to see visions, see the dimensions begin to blend, feel someone next to us, yet not see them. Hear voices. Smell strange odors. See colors and lights. Those who are refusing to go with the tide, who are fighting the changes are those who are having the most difficulty. So hang in there. The ride has just begun.
A recent meditation to The Chosen, to The Elect (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
He that hath ears to hear, let him hear. For thus sayeth The Lord:
For we know that the whole creation groans and travails in pain together until NOW. And not only they, but we ourselves also, which have the first fruits of The Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.
Now if ye live after the flesh, you shall die, but if you through The Spirit do mortify (to loose vitality and organic structure) the deeds of the body, you SHALL LIVE.
Truly I say unto you, He that hears my words and believes on Him that
sent me HAS everlasting life. And shall NOT come into condemnation, but
is passed from death, unto LIFE.
Are you seeing triple numbers? (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
I have sent this before to my own group list, so you may have read it somewhere...
One of the phenomena which is occurring these days to let us know that we are moving with spirit, a way our guides and teachers have of making us aware of the energies and significance of numbers, is the appearance of three or more of the same number. I awaken very often in the middle of the night and it is 2:22 or 3:33 or 4:44 on my digital clock (occasionally 5:55) or, I glance at the clock and it frequently reads 11:11, or once in a while 12:12. This information is compiled from several sources, and Lord Michael has validated it.
111 Energy flow * Enhancing whatever level you are in presently *
222 Resurrection and ascension process.
333 Decision number * Either directs you into a phase of 999 completion, or negatively, it puts you in the 666 frequency which throws you back into the third dimension *
444 This is an actual resurrection number * You have just completed an important phase *
555 Experiencing the energy or a level of CHRIST CONSCIOUSNESS * Very significant *
666 Material world * Third-dimensional frequency * Denseness *
777 Symbolizes an integration of some portion of the four lower bodies with higher spiritual frequencies within the Third-dimensional plane, or at the level in which you are manifesting your physical reality on the Earth Plane *
888 Symbolizes infinity * The unified spiral of the physical merging with the Spiritual * Moving toward the completion of the ascension process through the energies of 222 and 444.
999 Symbolizes the three levels of the triune * Completion *
000 GREAT VOID * Experiencing a NULL ZONE * Switching or moving into a new Energy Field *
10:10 Moving into a new beginning - 1 and into the pattern of the great void 0 - or a much higher resonance or frequency of Spirit
11:11 Beginning of a whole new level or phase of development * Another dimension or frequency of experience * A PORTAL WAY OPENING *
12:12 A COSMIC CONNECTION * A bridge to the future * Signifies a level of completion or graduation*
You may also see them on license plates, or cash register receipts.
My Forever Friend - a p.s.s. from Heaven (view on a separate page) (more articles about else)
No matter how much we like to romanticize about "the good old days", let's face it. - Being a grade-school kid was often a really painful time of life. I probably look back on that period with more disdain than most.
I was the class punching bag! I was the one that all of the older guys took out their frustrations on. And believe me, there were a lot of them, and a lot of frustrations!
I became use to being the target of spit-balls, kick balls, basketballs, erasers, chalk erasers, pencils, pens paper wads, tennis shoes, chewed gum, gum wrappers, rocks, sticks, rulers, text books, notebooks and an occasional Webster's Unabridged Dictionary. (ouch!)
St. Paul's Lutheran School, Indianapolis, was a pretty rough place for someone who tried to just "live and let live"; someone like me.
On the other end of our junior- high social spectrum was Paul Snell. He was in the class ahead of me, and a year and a half older than I. Paul was just about a "cool" as a 14 year old could be in 1964.
He was the one that all of the girls (and their mothers!) stood in line to swoon over. He was the star player of the St. Paul's Eagles basketball team. An amazing athletic achievement, considering that he stood only 5'4". Paul had an "otherworldly" essence about him. He could turn on the charm like the flick of a switch.
Pug nose, light freckles, green eyes, reddish-brown hair, and a smile that could bring down the walls of Jerico; today, Paul would be "all THAT and a tanker full of chips".
And I thank God that he was the one guy at our school who stood- up for me! If I was being harassed, all he would have to do would be to crinkle an eye and whoever; however many, and they would "at once" snap in line and leave me alone.
Even then, I sensed that Paul had some kind of unnamed psychic ability. There was something about him that stood apart from other kids our age. He was somehow much older and wiser than his 14 years on earth.
Although I inwardly realized that Paul actually felt sorry for me, I liked to think of him as my best friend. And being able to think of Paul as my "best friend" took away a lot of the hurt of the degradation that all of the other guys liked to pile on me. As long as I knew that Paul was around, their abuses and cruel words bounced off of me and melted away. I would think, "Paul is my best friend. So THERE!"
In June of 1964, we had a graduation party for the 8th graders at the Dane family's horse farm along Indiana State Road 37 in Morgan County. Paul (and the mean guys in their class) would be moving on to high school. I would be left to fend for myself with the kids in my own 7th grade, no 8TH GRADE CLASS (no problem). I felt like a man freed from slavery. And for once, now, I could be in charge! Adios, amigos!
That was the last time I saw Paul. He lived on another side of town, attended a different church, and had a whole other life ahead of him at Howe High School. Time forged ahead and we quietly fell out of touch with each other.
It's funny, some of the trivial things that stay with you about someone else. I can remember one day in English class when the 8th graders had to write "letters" on the black board. When one of the students added a "p.s.s." to their letter on the board, Paul laughed, "Hey, those are my initials!" I never knew what the "S" stood for. But, considering that it was THE Paul Snell, I suppose that it might just as well have stood for "Superman". There was definitely a "presence" and a "power" about him.
I learned in 1977 that Paul had been killed by a drunk driver. He had married and moved to Oshkosh, Wisconsin, and had been buried there. I just didn't seem real that Paul could be dead. So... I immediately began trying to communicate with him.
Poor guy! I would find myself pouring my heart out to him over the slightest problem. I would always hope that Paul could really hear me. I wasn't ever 100 per cent sure, but that didn't really matter. I had my memories of Paul's caring presence with me, and that was all that I really needed to get through life at the time.
As "fate" would have it, I wound up working for a while at Howe High School, Paul's alma-matter. One day in 1994, I had plenty of free time, so I decided to see what I could dig-up about Paul's years at Howe. I acquired a 1968 year book and tried to see how many times I could find a picture of him. I noticed and remembered that his birthday had been 6-17-1950. He had been just as successful in high school as in junior high! Lots of sports teams, lots of scholastic awards. And when I came to his Senior picture, I heard a man's voice say, "Long time, no see!" It was coming from an actor on a TV set tuned to a soap opera! It made me shake just a little. I prayed that that had actually been a sign from Paul to let me know that he had really been with for all of those many years that I had hoped that he was hearing my troubles from his Heavenly vantage point. I took it as a "p.s." FROM P.S... Pretty cool!
In 1996, I rode with a friend to visit his girlfriend in Bloomington. On the way, along SR 37, we passed by the Dane's old horse farm. "Hmmm," I thought, "That was the last place I saw Paul alive". Just that quickly, my eyes fell to the license plate of the car ahead of us: WISCONSIN / 617 PSS. "Oh my God!", I became nearly hysterical with tears of joy. "What? What? What", my friend tried to interrupt my emotional upheaval. All I could do in response to his question was to point at the car ahead of us and say, "Look at that plate!"
Of course, it meant nothing to him - and there was no way I could begin to explain all of the synchronicities to him - so I eventually calmed down (after 20 minutes or so).
I had "exploded" with all of the emotions of someone who had just seen their best friend rise from the dead! I KNEW that that was a signal from Paul that he has been - and is - with me. And (not TOO surprisingly) can still charm the cosmos into making things "happen". Even in Heaven, Paul has got it "going on"!
My friend in the car with me and I entered into an unspoken agreement that we would not pursue the matter further.
Well... That was until the return trip when I noticed him take on an expression of honest concern mixed with apprehension. He became quiet and somber when he pointed to the car ahead of us with another Wisconsin license plate and said, "There you go." (As if it were ANY license plate from Wisconsin that could elicit such an emotional outburst from me.)
When I realized exactly what was going through his mind at that moment, I laughed just as intensely as I had cried earlier that day. And, I got a p.s.s. FROM P.S.S. Paul, You're too cool!
Wing-ed Worms (view on a separate page) (more articles about guidance)
Dear Alexander and all list friends,
The kids? - they went that away!
Of late I have been pondering the ramifications of our seemingly forced
fed youngsters. I know that time tends to dull the memory, but I am convinced
today's child is born into a compressed environment where certainly the
body seems to grow and mature at a rate far faster than I remember child
growth from my past.
Reference: "Brain Wave Diary" (July 00).
The Wing-ed worm.
I came across the description of an experiment designed to measure the tenacity of a predator engaged in hunting food versus a counter stimuli such as pain.
It is a disgusting exercise, but since it was performed, perhaps some value can be extracted from the published result, (although even if there is, it cannot ever justify the end or the means).
A predator pike fish was introduced into a tank of prey fish. The pike is an aggressive predator often called a fresh water shark. The young pike soon demonstrated the species hunting prowess by devouring the prey fish.
The scientist then introduced a glass partition into the tank separating the pike from the replenished prey. For several days the young pike rushed at the prey fish on the other side of the glass partition, the result was always a sharp, cruel blow to the pikes nose.
After a while, the will to hunt the prey fish diminished and the young pike ceased to try to hunt and feed from the partitioned prey fish.
The glass partition was then removed.
As hungry as the young pike was at that point, it would not attempt to cross the now imaginary boundary formally established by the glass partition.
The young pike wasted away and died even though in easy reach of food.
I will not address the conclusions science made from this controlled torture of a captive living entity. My conclusion is one of shame for what our species can be. I would have been content with an assumption of a hypothetical result to such a question.
It is tempting to draw parallels to human behaviors based on the result of such an experiment, so tempted, I will.
If our young are separated from their strong and natural drive to wonder and discover, could their desire to seek and try wither? Would this desire return if the barrier were removed at some future point? Or would they be so conditioned as to not go there again? Could a learned or imposed mental partition stanch self-exploration and perhaps enlightenment for the rest of their life? Would they lose the gift of question - our greatest gift?
If cows were not tasty would there be any by now? Who would keep cows for any other purpose? Would they not become a burden and susceptible to extinction? Could being tasty be a species survival ploy?
Is a robin nothing more than a collection of tasty worms who have found a way to elevate themselves in the natural order of things? Is offering themselves to robins as food, a worms answer to the secret of achieving flight? Is what we witness worm evolution based on second party cannibalism? What eats the robin when it passes on, the worms?
The problem with removing the barricade of mental conditioning is: you are likely to start pondering unusual questions. The miracle of removing the mental barricade is: you are likely to start pondering unusual questions.
Answers to questions are not nearly as important as formulating the question to begin with.
Without questions, answers cannot exist, can they? There is no such thing as a silly question, this is the truest old wisdom I have ever heard. One good question is worth a thousand bad answers.
I would like to fly, too! Do you suppose I ever will?
Ordering Information for the "Brain Wave Diary" series of books. To order a copy for a friend, or for a friend to order, please e-mail the request to Doug Lewis using e-mail address firstname.lastname@example.org. Please put "Brain Wave Diary" in the subject line.
To visit Doug's "Brain Wave Diary" WEB page you will find it at
Closing Words (view on a separate page)
"You do or you do not. There is no try."