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Be Careful What You Wish For


Author: Susan Petro-Carlson    (all articles by this author)
Published on: January 4, 2001

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations that create a greater learning possibility through the mere act of being human. This is the story of how I came to terms with a gift I was given and a gift I discovered through fighting my own demons.

A few years back I was lamenting over the fact that I had chosen a career that put me in a situation that I found unappealing. I had developed my God-given gifts of being able to play piano and sing from a young age. While I truly enjoyed these gifts, the vehicle it provided me to make a livelihood, which was performing in bars, did anything but appeal to me. I had been very successful at taking good care of myself through the utilization of these talents, however, there came a point where I regretted the fact that I had ever pursued this as a career and wished that I had learned another skill.

I took myself into a deep depression over the whole matter and though I continued to go on performing nightly, I held a grudge about it all deep in my heart. As it turned out, there was a big lesson for me to learn about all of this, after all, we do come into this life for that purpose.

One day as I was riding my bike back from a trip to the store, I fell off in the middle of the road and broke my wrist. I somehow managed to get back on the bike and ride home with my broken appendage dangling and in quite a large amount of pain. As it turned out, this happened on a holiday weekend and since I was living on an island, I would not be able to get to a doctor for two days. I lived day and night in terrible pain, all the while wondering how I was going to survive this mess. Finally I went to the sports doctor on the island and he took a x-ray of my wrist. The results were not pretty. He said that he could offer me two procedures.

One was to put a metal plate in my wrist, since I had broken it badly and shattered bones and the second offering was to try and put it back together manually (which would be quite painful, with no guarantees) and put it in a cast for three months. While he could not predict what either procedure would bring as a final result, he did not feel I would ever be able to use that hand to play the piano again!

I was devastated!

I decided to opt for the second method, since I am highly opposed to going under the surgeon's knife. I put my face in a pillow and screamed while he manipulated the broken bones. He then put on the cast and sent me home with pain pills. All there was to do at this point was to wait three months for the healing to take place and find someone to take my place at work. This brought a whole new light on my feelings about the gift that I was given. While I didn't like working in bars, I did enjoy playing. More depression set in and then I had a burst of determination come over me. I was determined to heal myself and get out of this cast as soon as possible. Without any reason for the following steps that I took, I started picturing white light coming from the pupils of my eyes directly to the area that was broken under the cast. I pictured the x-ray of my wrist and the broken bones coming together healing. I concentrated on this several times day and night. It became an obsession with me. After about six weeks, I could tell that the bones had fused and I wanted to have the cast removed, as soon as possible I was ready to move on with my therapy.

When I went to the doctor and told him that I wanted him to remove the cast, he did not want to do it, saying that there was no way that the healing could be complete at this time. He said that it would only cost me more money to have yet another cast put on the wrist.

I was insistent and he took the cast off and took x-rays. To his surprise, it HAD healed and there was no need for another cast. I was now ready for therapy to create muscle in that area again. He was shocked and I was overjoyed.

He didn't know what to say when I told him how I had used visualization and knew that this healing had taken place. I realized the power we all have inside to heal ourselves, if we only believe that we can.

This gave me a greater appreciation of the strength of the spirit and the innate talents we are all born with. While I continued to perform in bars, which was still not to my liking, I also started to find other ways to enjoy my art and had a greater appreciation for the gift that I was given. I had exposed yet another talent, that of healing which I use to benefit others and myself daily, giving thanks, that my lesson in pain had proved to be larger than I could have ever dreamed.

Author: Susan Petro-Carlson

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Originally published in Project X Newsletter #51

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