Wednesday, April 25, 2001
I thought that maybe there won't be a lesson, or will be a short one. Something like that happened. I took the longest walk toward the park, descending down the Jonah hill, then crossing the highway. There was kind of a field there, with a huge structure that resembled a pentacle from afar. To reach the river from the field, there was a net fence to be overcome.
I tried to climb bushes to reach to the other side, but failed. I went a bit along the fence to the left, then saw a pipe rising diagonally from the ground, walking on the pipe could provide a bridge to the other side o the fence. Pipe - civilization - symbolized for me my past experience, that I must lean on? But, as I was thinking that, I slipped from the pipe, getting pricked in several places by the shrubbery! Which meant - in Nature, don't trust your past experience for 100%. Nature is different. And that was my short lesson or today; most of my stay in the temple and such, was more or less a rest. I did get to observe ants building their tunnel, working in a representation of massive consciousness, taking out grains of sand, some laying it afar from their home, some near it, an ant with a torn leg was guarding the place - there is a job for the veterans as well.
I don't remember whether it was on this day, or the next one, but on my way to forest I saw no zebras in the zoo - which saddened me, as I thought that they removed the most exotic animals there. However, they were back when I returned - and this time I couldn't see the antelopes. Probably they were being fed.
Ah, the soothing relaxation of Nature?
Thursday, April 26, 2001Enemies. Well, I expected it - it was Israeli Independence Day - but not at such rate! The park was littered, full of groups of people, having their picnics, their barbecues burning, smothering the air. I felt as if my place was desecrated! My worst fears came true, as I saw people on the bridge! Trespassers! Of course, I had to be cautious about not revealing my special places in the forest, but as far as the staff being left near the street light - that problem was "solved" for me - the staff was gone! Probably some curious kiddo took, and threw away. There was also this long stick on the ground, after the bridge, I called it the gate - between this and the forest's world - well, the stick was removed from the road as well. I placed a new one on it, and walked on, finding out, to my disturbance, that some people walked on the path as well. Two guys on one motorcycle passed me from behind, not commenting on the gate, though. Then there was a religious family ahead of me, marching on, until they reached a junction there. I thought that, should they turn to me, I'll say something bitter. The motorcycle returned, and the father of the family asked them about what is there, ahead. He got a short reply, "Just weeds." I passed the family, and the father turned to me.
"Is it true we can reach the sea if we go on?"
"No," I've said with authority, "the sea is in the opposite direction," I've pointed behind us. It was truth, by the way.
"But what is there? Why others are going there?"
"Woods, weeds," I said, dismissing, and continued.
Others? Damn, he's right - a couple with a child were walking on the path ahead of me. I slowly followed them - at least I've succeeded to convince the religious family not to go on, but these ones I must elude. I even had to stop and crouch by the side of the path, waiting for them to progress. I hoped - for their sake! - they won't find my temple.
I've reached the temple - they were gone somewhere near the staffs place, probably. I had to check the entire path, to make sure it's clear of people, but I already heard that it wasn't. I can, of course, just walk there and pick a staff - but should I reveal the "storage"?
I did the exercise in my temple without the staff. As I opened my eyes after the scream, the first thing I saw, panting, was a "knife" made out of burnt wood that I picked a couple of days earlier. A weapon. I've returned to the path, holding it. I can, of course, still holding it, just walk to the staffs place, whether the people there will see me or not - I don't care.
Throughout all of this I was like an animal, listening to the noises, cautious, avoiding people, hiding, lurking - I saw for some time in the temple, prior to the exercise. And, yes, I could just walk there, where the people were. But this wasn't a lesson in social behavior, I was not to over my shyness - I was to be an animal. I walked a few steps forward, heard a door of a car slamming, awaited, then stuck the "knife" in the middle of the path, like a warning. Let them think over how it got there. In Nature, I was not to behave like in society. I turned around and headed out.
Did I mention that, on several occasions, as if reassuring that right decision was made, a beautiful song by a bird usually started? Earlier, when I crouched by the road, a bird started singing, and each sound was not like the next one. I could listen to it for hours.
So, no staff today.
Bridge. I think it was the same religious family's father on it, talking to secular guy. They looked at me, emerging from the woods. Because of the people, I don't think I quite transformed back from animal to a human, because, for the first time for a while, I hated all the people in the park, littering, making the place filthy.
Anyway, the secular guy asked me:
"Excuse me, but what is there?"
"Nature," I replied laconically.
"And just that?" he half-laughed.
"Yes, just nature," I said, as I was heading off the bridge into the park. "You can ruin it with picnics, barbecues, and such?"
There, I said it! Though I felt like a little boy saying something nasty to a grown-up, then running away.
It is worthy to mention a dream I had last night, a fight with a spirit, the crossing, the casting of a protective circle with rays behind it. Also, a dream on a war with aliens.
Friday, April 27, 2001I think that the turtles, their presence mostly on the right side of the bridge, symbolize something, a progress. Yesterday, I think, I finally saw one swimming on the left side; today I scared one to swim there.
There were people on the path, again, but this time I didn't feel hatred for them. There were bicyclists - they didn't go too far into the woods, also there were two groups of runners, in first one there were two guys holding hands behind a back of a girl that ran between them - which made me realize that she was blind, and they were leading her.
The exercise was more or less good. I went for a new staff, took the closest one with force - and it broke in two in my hands. As I walked with the other one, thinking of this event, I accidentally kicked it, breaking a part of it. Nonetheless, I walked with it until the end, holding, like I did many times, not like a cane - vertically, but as a spear - horizontally, in parallel to the path.
Tomorrow, the last time I do the Seed Exercise.