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 Along the week preceding May 5, 2000 I maintained what I called a "low profile". I haven't answered most of the e-mails, tried not to waste energy on side issues, and was mentally preparing for the ultimate battle on the upcoming Friday. I had dreams, long dreams, interesting ones, yet hardly related to the date of 5.5.2000. And the messages I have received, both by phone and the Internet, were alerting. It appeared that there was a vast number of groups all over the world, including the holy land of Israel (especially Israel) that intended opening as many gateways as possible, assisting the Old Ones to break free from their timeless prison, because those promised them power and such (corny, isn't it?) I contradicted it with the knowledge that there will be a global meditation and prayer, with a billion people taking part in it. I truly expected the old-fashion good vs evil pay-per-view match. And many of the Chosen Ones felt attacked and weak at those days. I, however, felt somewhat detached from a direct involvement. I tried, of course, to tell all my Chosen friends to meet me at the battlefield, I called them to arms. I wanted a fight, didn't wish to stay away or unaware of what is taking place. I imagined me and others in our spiritual forms rushing toward a hellish-looking rupture in the sky, slaying Cthulhu and his minions, fulfilling the destiny we have chosen for ourselves. On Thursday, May the 4th, I parted my friends in the University, half-jokingly saying "Happy end of the world." But as I left, a horror gripped me - what if tomorrow IS the end of the world? How to react? How the humankind supposed to behave? Today I can proclaim: I am happy that I was wrong. No significant dreams came in the night between May 4 and May 5. I dreamt of talking vultures and penguins. And as the day itself passed uneventful, pretty much like the week prior to it, I went to Rinor's house where I sat in the Wiccan circle he created. He was managing the ritual, calling four corners, the four elements, igniting the candles for the Lord and the Lady, bringing their Union to our circle. We sat in the lotus positions, on opposite sides of our improvised altar. I closed my eyes.
At first I notice that I was trembling, a bit vibrating, if you will. My body was slightly paralyzed, and the mind was shifting (?). Thoughts and realizations came to me. I opened my eyes and there was the natural yet brighter light in the room, and I saw Rinor sitting there in the perfect and serene position, and I understood everything. People told me that, but I choose to ignore. Yet I knew it, but now I was certain. The word came to me, as I saw the light that filled the room, and Rinor sitting amidst it: continuation. I closed my eyes again, the concentration I reached was, for me, divine, the head was clear. After Rinor said his part, I waited for a few moments, and then spoke. My words were both prayer and message from above. I called the God, the Universe, the Cosmos, All in One, and One in All. I asked for this day not to prove to be a disastrous one for the humanity, but a turning point for a better future. I asked to show the people that there is always hope, that our existence is not pointless. I delivered the message of enlightenment. I prayed for people to reach the same realization I did. That we are free spiritual beings, sparks of the infinite light, and the entire Universe is our home. Blessed Be. That ritual was really something me and Rinor needed. It empowered us. And I felt - not just balanced, but - COMPLETE, homogeneous even. I ended the state I was in with the thought running in my head: "This is mine to hold." It was a lesson for me. For those who follow my newsletters for some time, you might say that I change opinions too often. I'm not, I am simply constantly developing, despite the delay and confusion I caused to myself last week. And although I have seen myself reaching the final station of my journey, I am going back now to pick some things I skipped, maybe developing a psychic ability or two. I realized something that I told myself before, but now I sensed the truth of it. If we concentrate on our struggle with evil, thinking all the time how we will confront all the ugly and seemingly strong demons that are supposed to invade us, then we become stained with that evil, and it begins to exist for us. So I say, let all the necromancers and satanists deal with it, the evil exists for them, it is their choice. It is not ours to hold, though. We are not here to fight all the time. We are of Light. People told me, when I asked them to join my troops at the astral battlefield, I ignored then, but I understand now. Love is all we need. I am here not to be the Warrior, but to bring the message of hope and enlightenment. This is also yours to hold. This is our main course. The ritual was performed on the most perfect day of the new year, the day of Planetary Enlightenment, when the stars were right... but the stars were right for us, not them. They do not exist and do not belong to the world we create. Starting from this day I am no longer concerned with the Elder Gods. The Universe is filled with beauty. The day of 5.5.2000 did end in a confrontation I had in my sleep. I dreamt of playing Pokemon cards with some kid (?!). I won, but gave him my and his cards back. On with the spiritual newsletter. {Oh, I forgot, there is a correction on "A Day with Darwin" from the last newsletter: the URL for Airport Inn's website is actually http://www.airportinn.com. My apologies.}
Originally published in Project X Newsletter #36
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