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 Hello, and welcome to the edition number quarter o' hundred! First, let me inform you that my [Aldarow] e-mail has been changed, so if you need a guidance or just a word of advise, do not hesitate to write. Now, to the matters at hand. If you have read a couple of recent messages from me on our message board, you have probably noticed that the eternal optimist, that yours truly is, was down, depressed and frustrated in the worst way. Indeed, upon entering my first days in the Tel-Aviv University three weeks ago, I started one of the blackest periods of this year. It began with me not connecting with the vibe of place at first, followed by drastic problems with studies' schedule, and then more and more. Toward the closing of my first week Rinor and Tiamat helped me, feeding me with energies they sent my way, but as I started to feel better about the situation I got stuck in, a sickness stroke, ruining my home weekend. From there is was an endless fall to the bottom, with all the experience I gathered in the field of the spiritual collapsing, and my progress reduced to nothing. In a matter of days I entirely lost my purpose, my cause, my protection... my smile. It seemed that the evil forces got be this time for good... But the signs for the salvation were everywhere, although I either chose to ignore them, or misused their intentions. I was submerged in a black lagoon of negative thinking. The problems didn't seem to go away by themselves, it was not a regular bad streak that has to come sometimes, since it had no symptoms of vanishing at all. On Tuesday, October the 26th, I was on my way home, suffocating physically (throat problems), as well as mentally and spiritually. At Tel-Aviv's central bus station I passed near a counter, where a man was selling books about Kabbalah. In a matter of minutes I poured him my soul out, about the low energies around me, about being in a dead end. He gave me a simple advise, that I shall pass to you, as I did to someone else, too. He told me that Kabbalah does not acknowledge such thing as luck... and not even fate. Everything in our life is in our control, it is a direct consequence of our deeds, our thoughts, out perception, perhaps in the past lives as well, but no one has stated we have to pay all the time. We must be strong, and take it all under our own control. Money, time, environment, circumstances - don't let it take a hold of you.
I was driving back home in a bus, while giving myself a serious mental shake. I was silently yelling at myself, "I'm in control! I'm in charge! I am strong, from now and on, and forever!" I arrived home, and took the rest of the week off. I took care of internal matters, before moving back to external ones. When I saw that man, the Kabbalist, one week later, I underwent an 180 degrees change, and was radiating with happiness, and he smiled when he saw that in me. You see, precious reader, we all must drop 'the constant victim' pattern right now! I know, it may seem hard and even non-achievable, considering the life and the world we are living in... but there we go again, the merry-go-round of darkness continues, since we don't have the strength to break free of that sucking swamp of routine misery. But you're wrong, you do possess that strength, it what makes you immortal, it what eventually makes you shining the light of Divinity - we can stop our personal suffering immediately! Whatever we did in the past, maybe even before birth, we must bury without any further delay. Stop carrying around the dead weight of guilt, of uncertainty, or constant concern - "What would other think?" Who cares!! It is YOUR life, and you, and only you, will be its master, its shaper, its sculptor and planner. Stop being a slave to the outside world, and let the inside world take you forward! Take the responsibility for YOUR life, because you're the one living it, and you're the only one that must rule it! I hope I delivered the message in the clearest way to you. Kabbalah (not to be confused with Judaism, the religion), for instance, speaks exactly of the same universal aspects. In the next issue I will attempt to give you an Introduction to Kabbalah (the way Tiamat did the Introduction to Wicca), as I am being introduced to it myself these days, by the means of the book I bought at that counter, at the central bus station. The energies are flowing freely now. 'Now' is the key word. 'Control' is another. Use them! And enjoy the rest of the newsletter. It went out a little bit long, but who said you have to read it at once, instead of prolonging the joy as you wish, since you're the only one in charge NOW.
Originally published in Project X Newsletter #25
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