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Helping is not always LOVE

Author: Moi    (all articles by this author)
Published on: September 23, 2001

People like us... on the spiritual path... are always eager to help others.

To most people that sounds as the right thing to do BUT in my reality it can cause more damage than good :(

As an example: My ex-husband have some problems with him being weak and can't say NO to people. He has his own business and are having some problems with a person who accuse him of being responsible for things he isn't... and my ex feels guilty, not because he is, but because he feels that way. He got an invoice yesterday saying he should pay for things this guy ordered but thought my ex should pay, as responsible for a machine which broke down for the other guy.

I started to get angry when seeing this invoice and was close to pick the phone up and call the guy to explain the legal aspects on the matter as well as the moral wrong he does towards my ex. I work in my ex's business, so it wouldn't be strange me talking about this business thing :)

There and then I remembered my lessons from Kariel, my spirit guide about our never-ending wish to "HELP" people out. If I had continued by phoning this guy I would have taken over my ex opportunity to solve this, his problem, and nothing would have been gained at all.. It would probably have looked that way in a short term view but I would only have caused another of this situations to happen for my ex until he had learnt the lessons and being released from them appearing in his life.

Instead of him solving it himself and never needed to have this lesson again I would have created another person to meet and another lesson for my ex for learning to trust himself and say: "Enough is enough!!"

So I always think twice before I let myself HELP another person, knowing that in the long run I will only create another lesson for that person by removing his opportunity to grow and take his own responsibility.

To really HELP another person might as well be to step aside and let the person deal with his own problems without interfering out of what we believe is love, but in fact isn't.



Originally published in Project X Newsletter #62

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