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My Personal Experience with a Life Affirming Dis-ease


Author: Alishaya    (all articles by this author)
Published on: May 30, 2003

I am sure that you have had similar experiences. You know those times when you unsuspectingly get out of bed, shower, get dressed, and expect your day to proceed in the ordinary comfortable monotonous way that the preceding ones have occurred. Than something happens and you say, wow, maybe I should have stayed in bed. Little knowing, that you are about to embark on a "growing" stage in your life. If we knew, we would do more than stay in bed. I for one would pack a backpack and proceed to a cave, deep inside a mountain, perhaps with an underground stream to be prepared for a long siege. Occasionally, I would venture into town, sit in a coffee shop, and quickly write down any "challenges" that I encounter. I would than average out the "challenges" encountered by the length of my outing. If it averaged to more than two tests in four hours, I would restock my supplies and head back to my cave. That would be ideal, at least for me. I think that perhaps my soul has a different perception. Easy enough for my soul, it is up there in Perfection Land. I on the other hand am stuck in a world of duality. Assessments, um... good for the soul... not so effortless for us!

Actually, I think that if we listen closely to our higher selves, we would know when we need to change our lives, our routine, and our comfort zone. That way it would not upset us as much. I know that deep inside of me, I did. There were "SIGNS" everywhere. I knew, yes I did. However, did I listen? No, definitely not, lesson number one, listen to your heart, it always KNOWS. However, who wants to revise anything? We who are after all more intellectual than the average ant (who by the way does know when the storm is coming and acts) do not relish or even like the idea of change. If we must be faced with transformation than we want to control it. We want to be in charge, how many alterations and at what time they occur. Our beautiful soul on the other hand loves change, loves to modify itself, grow, experience, transform from the caterpillar into the butterfly. Personally, I always did like caterpillars.

Anyway, let me tell you of my latest experience in the Land of Restoration, the place that your soul goes to experience the deeds that will lead it back home, to the Land Of Luminosity. As I said before, I had inkling that there was a storm brooding over the home front. I called a few friends who are very gifted psychics (if you believe in that kind of thing). Souls that are aware of their innate gift from the Creator Source. They are able to judge and see energy. I called and said back at the end of August, "What is happening, the force field is vibrating in harmonies that are not very familiar. They seem to be experiencing technical difficulties. I called the Inner Self Technician but she/he is not saying much. I think she might be over her head. She does not know she is emitting a low frequency SOS alert." They said, no, nothing wrong, you have not picked any outside vibrations, everything seems OK, and you are ready for blast off. Blast off, is what I most certainly did.

In October, I attended a Peace March, with all the yelling and chanting, we did back in the 60's. Very successful and very irritating to your vocal cords. Do you realize how loud you have to yell to be heard when you are walking in downtown New York? Anyway, when two weeks later, I still had trouble talking, I thought I should go to the doctor. I finally did get around to calling her to get an appointment in the middle of November. By than, I had my voice back, but what the dickens, I thought I might as well as go in for a check up. Have you EVER taken your car in for a check up? What mechanic tells you, oh, your car is perfect, it does not need a single thing? Well, doctors are pretty much the same. Sorry, if your uncle is a doctor but you must realize that doctors don't make money if every one is well and more importantly, pharmaceuticals can't show an increase in profits every year, if we don't buy medicine.

My doctor is an oncologist. My sister referred her to me when I came back to New York. I figured she is a female, she accepts my medical insurance, and my sister says she is a good doctor. OK. I guess that when you hit 48 you should have a doctor. I had never had one in my life but I was ready to accept the fact that when one gets older one should have a doctor. Lesson number two. Why are we so ready to accept dis-ease as we get older? My grandfather died when he was ninety-two. He still was cultivating the little bit of land he had. I do not think he ever went to a doctor, much less have one. He was an uneducated man, did not go past the second grade. Lived on a mountain in Cuba, far way from the city, tended his pigs and his chickens every day for over seventy years. He was unaware of high cholesterol. He had no idea what his sugar level was or how high his blood pressure was. All he knew was that he had to get up at five every morning to feed his animals and farm his land. All he knew was that if he did not plant, he would not eat. When lunch time came around, he went to his garden, picked his insecticide free vegetables and fruit, got a few eggs from the chicken coop, maybe wrung a few necks (Yes, Virginia, the chickens you buy in the store all wrapped up in clean cellophane without a single feather, come from a live chicken) and ate his food. So much for education. Lesson number three is when you have little choice between processed, chemically engineered foods, and fresh wholesome ones, choose the natural ones.

So here, I was at the doctor. She started her litany on the dangers of not going to see her in two years, why, did I know that I was in danger of a serious dis-ease at my age? My heart needed to be monitored, my sugar level, my blood pressure could be all messed-up and I would show no symptoms at all. Believe me, if I was feeling all right when I walked in, I was feeling a lot worse as she went on. I remembered how tired I was feeling, all those nights I could not fall asleep before 11:30, how short of breath I was when I climbed the stairs on the train, how peaked I looked the other day when I looked in the mirror. Everything bad. Lesson number four - never ever, let other people's negative perception of life affect you. We are all not meant to weigh a perfect 110 lb., we don't all have the same internal clocks, our bodies and our reaction to different factors are diverse. Who do you think knows your body better, you who live in it twenty-four seven or a doctor that sees you for fifteen minutes every year? You better be saying you because if you aren't that is a completely different kettle of fish!

As she proceeded her examination, she stopped at my neck. Went over the area a few times and said there is something here. I never ever thought that so few words could affect one's own belief in Universal Love so strongly. She scheduled a CAT scan. I got on the train and went to pick up the car where I had parked it. I got in it and drove home. I parked and just sat there. In those few minutes, I forgot everything I believed in, everything I knew of the Universe, all about my own Creative powers. I cried, I yelled at the Creator, in short, I did everything I thought I should not do. This is, by the way, OK. When faced with a difficult situation, you can get angry, cry, yell, stomp your foot, what ever it takes to get you to RELEASE all those negative feelings. You do not want the extra baggage, when you finally do get to your destination you find out exactly how high the cost for the extra pounds was. Lesson number five, release.

A few days later, I went for the CAT scan. They where very helpful, even though I asked a zillion questions. What are the side effects, what do the studies show, how long does the radioactive material stay in your body? It is your body. You should know all there is to know about what you put into it, even if doctors, who might think they are a direct representation of God on Earth, are the ones giving it to you. Let them get angry, in fact, if when asking your zillion questions she/he gets upset find yourself a new doctor. Lesson number six, know yourself.

My father had six other siblings six who had died of cancer. On my mother side, two had succumbed to the dis-ease. Not great odds. Lesson number seven, don't think that because things have always been a certain way, they are bound to remain the same. You can change your life, you can break the chains, and you alone can alter your self and your body with prayer, the power of belief, KNOWING and awareness.

All my children are my friends. I feel privileged to have been the vehicle of birth for these three incredible souls. We have developed a deep connection, for different reasons. Now, please don't get me wrong, I am sure they have many issues with me. I just find them to be the most incredible beings! Anyway, they are all friends and like all friends, they are all different. If I want to talk about books, art and music, I call Odalys, my oldest. If I want someone who is dependable and thinks she is my mother :-) I talk to Ariana, the youngest. If I want to discuss society or need a very clear determined head, I call my son. Unfortunately, my son was not in the country. He would not be back for at least two months. I have worked sixty hours a week for as long as I can remember. I am the oldest of three children, whose father was an alcoholic for many years. (That will tell you that I always like to be in control of every situation in my life.) I like it to be orderly. I like to know how and when the bills are going to be paid. If you know a little about living with abuse as a child, you know that we have a big issue with TRUST. Which brings me back to the baggage part, get rid of it. If you don't it will taint your life, your feelings, your outlook and it will affect your physical body. Lesson number eight, we are body, mind and spirit. They do not work independently, they are interconnected. On the other hand, people I practically did not know, stepped right in, to give their hands and heart. Lesson number nine, relay and trust the Divine Source of All and they will respond.

I think that perhaps I have gone a little far in my story but I need you to understand the I had a deep distrust of myself and others, I feared change, did not feel as if I was ever good enough, no matter what I did and I had to be careful in what I said, lest I get a very irrational reaction. Did you notice that every one of those issues is in the past tense? Do you think that in a few months I cleared up all those built in programs? No, I started a long time ago, releasing and reprogramming myself. I am continually working at it. It is never ending. Lesson number ten, just when you think you have altered the conditioned way of re-acting, you reach a new level. Just know that it does get easier. You fall into old paradigms and what you thought were discarded methods might come up but with less frequently and with much less upheavals and discomfort. One step, one issue, one thing at a time. However, since life is an ongoing experience (life after life after life), I figure, I should share now. We are a representation of each other. What affects one, affects all. Lessons number eleven and twelve, know that you are an integral part of Creation; honor yourself and others. Be thankful; show your gratitude by being compassionate. If I can assist anyone on the road of life, it is my duty and my calling to do so. That is why, although I am still in the mist of living, I am writing this down now. Anyway, I don't know how much postage is from the other side. :-)

When you have a test and no one calls you to get the results, don't worry about it. Bad news? I assure you that someone will call you, the next day! Therefore, when I got a call at work from my doctor, I said, here it goes. The doctor said she had to see me right away. I went in that afternoon. She said, "You have about five or seven, what appears to be tumors, in you lymph nodes. Two of them, judging by the CAT scan appear to be suspicious and very serious. I would like you to see a specialist right way." I tried explaining to her, why I wanted to wait a few weeks. I told her about my belief that dis-ease always starts in your emotional body, how with time it affects your physical body. I explained why my own limited belief in myself, my lacking of expressing my truth, was causing disturbances in my throat chakra. She just looked at me, and I am not kidding, said, "Whatever, you still have to go a specialist." So much for trying to illuminate! I said all right but I think I want to mull this over. "No time," was her quick reply. Think of it. Cancer, just does not magically appear in your body, it takes time, than if you don't have any symptoms, it takes a while for someone to notice it and than it becomes a take care of it NOW! You can't even take a few days or a week to examine your options. Why? Is it going to multiply in a few days? If it did, what difference would it make? If something is growing that fast, than you definitely should examine your choices. Lesson number thirteen, never give your own Personal Power away to any one. I don't care who it is. You have power use it; connect to your own divinity, your great I AM and use your divine discernment at all times.

Please understand that although I have somewhat simplified the process of self-healing, it does take commitment, dedication, belief, trust, a willingness to grow and work through a lot of emotional pain. It does not happen overnight. Think of proportions. If it takes you x amount of years to develop negative baggage, it will take you x amount of time to work them out. One good thing, is that by becoming aware, responsible and committed, you will make things flow easier and faster. Lesson number fourteen, life is the greatest story ever told, we are the writer, the producer, the director and the actor/tress. We are both the students and the teachers. It may appear difficult but upon examination what are sixty to eighty years when one is eternal? Have patience with yourself. Love yourself, honor life. Be a child. Play in the mud, smell the grass, think of dandelions as what they are, simple, graceful, beautifully bright flowers, not weeds, to be destroyed or pushed back into the soil.

I went to the specialist. It was funny really, because at first he could not feel any of the swellings. Then he called my doctor and found them. Again, when you look for something it will be there. He wanted me to go for a Positron Emission Tomography (PET scan) right away. Again, my questions. What is, how it is done, how much radioactive material, side effects? According to the doctor and confirmed by my intensive Internet search, the test have no side effects. Excuse me. Radioactive materials are harmful. How could it be that putting more into your body, right after a CAT scan is not harmful? I work at being as logical as possible, one and one will equal two, no matter what. I can't not accept those tests are not harmful. Cancer is the abnormal cell growth in your body that your immune system can't fight. So how is it that injecting a substance that makes cells grow, while suppressing the ability of your immune system, have no side effects? That is what cancer does and I am speeding up the process by willing injecting the same qualities into my body. Now I am not saying you should not have the test performed. Just be conscious of what you are doing and what is being done to your body. Try not to have more than one scan every six months or so. In that way, you give your body the opportunity of cleaning itself out.

I thought about the test and what I believed and knew of my self. A long time ago, while watching one member of my family after another succumb to cancer, I said I would not under any circumstances subject myself to chemotherapy or radiation therapy. Please, please understand that this was a personal choice. I don't recommend it to anyone. What I do recommend is that you learn as much as you can about dis-ease in general. Be aware that you are mind, body and spirit. Know that they work collectively to give you what we know as life. You cannot and must not treat one without treating the other two.

It makes no sense to me that in curing cancer, I become weak and sicker. I realize that according to many, the long-term results will be worth the while. I respect and honor those that are willing to go that route. Their collective experience has allowed me not to. It is by the lessons they have learned, experienced and shared that I can make my own personal choices. Lesson number fifteen, honor the lessons and the divinity of all. For me it is not the quantity but the qualities that is important. My face-to-face encounter with a life affirming dis-ease, has allowed me to deepen my faith and belief that we are eternal. That this one life is just a small fraction of all my lives. Time is relevant to my perspective. I have gone from first grade and attended school for numerous life streams. It would be wasteful for me not to trust who I have become on the way. It would be an affront to my divinity not to utilize my knowledge. I don't know what will happen five years down the line. Is life guaranteed? It is not. However, my life is my choice, I assume all responsibility for it. Anyway, I work on it. :-)

I decided to wait for the PET scan. I decided to incorporate and build on my inner knowing before going for any more test. I would wait for two to three months. In the meantime, I would devise and execute a plan. Don't think that the rest of my life had gone on stand still and that my health was the only change and challenge that I was encountering. Life very rarely is bundled in convenient packages. Lesson number sixteen, life happens; it does not wait for you to be ready or willing. Your soul, your higher self, your great I AM has its own agenda. If you are not looking or willing to look at the bigger picture, you might miss the signs that point the way. You will walk with no clear understanding or direction. We are not meant to live life asleep. We are supposed to use our power, our divinity, our awareness of self, others and the Source of All that is. Life is a great gift to our evolving souls, not to honor and trust ourselves, is a disservice that will make things so much more difficult than it has to be. If you are constantly hitting a brick wall, you better know why, if you want to alter the experience. It makes no sense to me to be hitting the wall with my head repeatedly. It might be uncomfortable; it might cause pain to examine the reasons for my behavior. However, the alternative, to continue to hit my head not only does not make sense it seems pointless (and it does hurt).

I have known that my soul's mission was to serve humanity in any capacity that I could. It is my purpose, my mission. How do I know? Beside that, I am an incredible psychic? ;-) I know because it gives me joy. It makes me happy to assist people. It makes me smile and feel good when I can share of myself with others. Building ties, expanding and cultivating love, makes me want to sing and play hopscotch. When what you do gives you joy you can bet you are on the right track. Life is supposed to be full of joy, love, happiness and peace. That is what we are here for. The Universe provides all the tools and all the props. We are a dot in the circle of Humanity. We have all the abilities the full circle has. If we are emerged in pain, in unhappiness, in lack of love that is what we will continue to manifest. Lesson number seventeen, you create your own reality, if you are conscious of it you can work on making it perfect. If you are unaware, you will continue experiencing pain, until you do become responsive.

I had not been living my life mission. Any place you are is perfect but when you know that, you are in direct opposition to what you interior self is saying, that where you are no longer serves the Highest Good of All, believe me, circumstances will push you to where you are supposed to be. It is very simple. Listen to your Higher Self, arrange to follow your desires and dreams or be pushed into the water. Your Higher Self will get you to where you are supposed to be, one way or another. Your Over-soul knows what you need. Trust yourself and the Source of All to provide it. Don't fight the current; swimming against it can be exhausting and fruitless. I was working in a place that no longer served or contributed to my life's purpose. I was worried and anxious about my finances. How would I pay my rent, bills and stuff? My soul does not care about stuff; they are accumulated by our need and our eternal search for purpose. Ironic is it not? Our accumulation of things is a direct result of our need for higher purpose and our higher purpose is often obscured by the possessions? God does have a sense of humor. When we loose that insight, we often miss the internal signs. Since I could not make the conscious choice of looking for an outlet for my divine creativity, "life" made the selection for me. I lost my job. Not only me but also my daughter who lives with me. No source of income. If I had arranged for myself, I could have taken steps in the creation of my reality. Now my reality was shaping my life. Lesson number eighteen. Take action on your inner knowing. Taking no action is a response in itself. Be conscious of what your superior self is saying and than act. Manifestation cannot occur without active action, choose consciously active instead of reactive. It makes your life so much simpler and easier.

Therefore, in February life threw a few lemons. You know what they say; when you get lemons, make lemonade. So this is what I did.

" I made a list of things I needed to change and prioritized it.

" I realized that the time of reading and studying was over. I had to incorporate my knowledge and live my wisdom.

" I wrote down my objectives, my goals and my own personal life mission statement.

" I made a list of everything that had gone "wrong" and the perceived reasons for it.

For my health issues I:

*Read and INCORPORATED the following books that I recommend for everyone.

**The Complete Book of Incense, Oils &Brews by Scott Cunningham; Power Juices Super Drinks by Steve Meyerowitz; Cancer as a Turning Point by Lawrence LeShan; Herbally Yours by Penny C. Royal; Reverse Aging by Sang Whang; The Doctor Who Cures Cancer by William Kelley Eidem; Your Body's Many Cries for Water by F. Batmanghelidj; The Isaiah Effect by Gregg Braden; The Acid Alkaline Balance Diet by Felicia Drury Kliment; Healing your Body by Louise Hay; Essential Oils compiled by Essential Science Publishing. Plus, I conducted an intensive research into the dis-ease, using the Internet. One link after another was reviewed.

*I have been on an active Spiritual Path for oh... since I was about sixteen. I have gone from African based religions, Buddhism, Tao, Shamanistic, well you get my drift. So it has been continual and I did not have to actively start. If you do need guidance, I can assist you. Please let me know. Please understand that the culmination of all my studies has created a deep trust in my self, my own healing properties and God. Magnified Healing, Crystal Healing and a few others, were incorporated into my life.

*I start a regime and still am on it:

**Juicing using a high dosage of naturally cultivated carrots. Mainly used beets, carrots, cucumbers, sweet grass, oranges, celery, watercress, apples, grapes. I drank at least three 8 oz. a day.

**A Higher than usually dosage of Ambrotose, an immune Support Formula and Plus, which supports Optimal Endocrine Health. (Please contact jbthornberry@aol.com for more information)

**Eight ounces of SeaSilver, please follow link: http://admin.myseasilver.com/AdiDivineWithin

**Three very balanced meals, reduced sugar intake.

**Ten to twelve glasses of bottled water.

**Water filters in kitchen and bathroom. Chemicals do enter your blood through your pores. I never even realized that before!

**Direct application of the following Young Living Oils. Young Living are the purest form of oils that I found. I was combining three different oils, two times a day.

***Directly on nodes, three times a day. (Yes, I know that one is not supposed to use layered oils but it worked fine for me.) R.C.; Myrrh; Frankincense; White Angelica; Lavender; Sage; Release; Ledum; Purification. On my heart chakra: Release; Lavender; Acceptance; Gratitude; Joy; Purification; Peace &Calming; Abundance. I alternatively use all the above oils (a different one each day), on the soles of my feet.

**I take Magnified Healing Essenes.

Implementation, belief, trust all are key ingredients. If it sounds time consuming it is. The results are living a fully integrated life. It is not for anyone. The choice is personal. The alternative is to continue to give your power away. I can guarantee that course of action will not make you happy. It will give you no joy and you will continue to manifest dis-ease until you take and assume responsibility for yourself. Please remember that you can use all of the above and still follow a mainstream medical plan.

My friend of over forty years ago died a few weeks ago from breast cancer. She went from a vibrant strong woman to a body that weighed at the most sixty pounds. She said she did not believe in radiation and chemotherapy but on the onset of her disease, she choose to go against those beliefs. It was her choice. It was her journey. I thank her for making my commitment stronger and firmly rooted in my own heart, body and mind.

In February, I finally went for the PET Scan. It showed that there was no tumors. The specialist was surprised. He wants me to go back in four months. My personal doctor did not so believe and wanted a biopsy. I respectfully declined. If a test can prove the presence of cancer, another test can prove that there is none. Why would I choose to believe the negative implications of test and not the positive?

Will I be OK? I am OK. I trust the choice. I trust me and God. I trust life. I trust that all works for the best when your intentions are for the Highest Good Of All and in Divine Right Order. How long I live is not determined by a doctor. It was determined by my soul before my physical birth. If I die of cancer, that is all right. I will have been in the bearer of an alternative way of curing ourselves. I live. I live in the NOW. I am conscious of my thoughts, words and actions. I incorporate all my lessons to become balanced whole and complete. I choose to live as a truly autonomous human being. Now and Forever more.

May The Source of All bless you and keep you.

May you Inner Source of All bless you and keep you.

May you become an aware responsible human being, in all the areas of your life.

Alishaya - Knukquni - AdiDivineWithin@cs.com

Rev. Edith Church of the Creator (COTC)

I remain in a state of Divine Right Order ®

Join Care2.com and The Breast Cancer Fund's Climb to End Breast Cancer! - http://breastcancer.care2.com

Live to serve and serve to live,

Walk in Light, She/He will always guide,

Walk in Light and there will be Peace,

May you learn to walk the talk and sing the songs,

May your days be filled with sun,

May you never do wrong,

May you be a warrior of Love.

May Peace be your only defense,

May your Truth be strong,

May you thank the Lord above

For the Love

They show

You may use any listing or part of the listing, however, let us acknowledge the Creative Divinity of the person who wrote it, please!

All materials are copyrighted 5/03.

Originally published in Project X Newsletter #85

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